Saturday, April 17, 2010

What Did YOU Do This Morning?

We worked with the Honor Flight at our local airport to welcome veterans from many years past into the area. Then, we sent them off to DC with a pretty awesome escort (see the right side of the picture?).

Now, is this an awesome send-off, or what?!

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Monday, April 12, 2010


We're never given more than we can handle, but that doesn't mean we don't start to feel broken by the weight of it all, right?!

I had a rough weekend. Some of that was captured in yesterday's blog. But the stuff not mentioned, as well as a pretty rough day today... let's just say I'm feeling pretty weighed down today.

And tonight I have to go to the clinic and meet with my client for a re-test, since she still hasn't gotten her period (and I think she's probably pregnant, and the last test was too early).

Don't get me wrong - I still absolutely LOVE volunteering and interning at the clinic. I really really do. And I'm looking forward to working with her again and helping her. I just pray that when I'm walking in, I'll be able to leave everything at the door and be Jesus to her when she needs it.

But now that, too, has me thinking. I wonder how many people have left baggage at that door.

Interns. Counselors. Clients.

I wonder what it would look like if we could put on our special goggles and see the kind of stuff that's just been chillin there for who knows how long.

I've heard the saying, before, that if everyone threw their troubles into a pile, we would each be quick to take back our own, after seeing it amidst the weight of all the others.

That's probably true.

This week should be full of interesting things. Some really good friends of ours are already overdue to have their baby girl, and I just CAN'T wait to meet her! Come on little Abby!! She's apparently just way too comfortable hanging out in there.

Sunday, on top of answering all of the questions regarding our worship pastor leaving, I was also lucky enough to field the "baby watch" questions.


Now I know how google feels.

Anywho - we're on baby watch. Kind've on neighbor watch (I'll still need to fill you on in all of that mess, soon. oh it's good... you'll love hearing all that action). Still recovering from our eventful and emotional weekend. AND I have a Dr's appt on Thursday. Fuunnn stuff.

I'm beginning to feel like the only solution would be planning a good vacation for just the two of us...

Can I get a Amen?!

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Like a Stick in the Mud

This has been a whirlwind of a weekend. Where do I begin? Oh, I know where I'll begin, because I can only really even write about a few things (the down side to having people you know read your blog...).

Well, we just got word that some good friends of ours are leaving. Pastor Travis (our worship pastor) and Leann, along with their two little ones.

It sucks.

To be honest - it's strange how much this is effecting me. I consider them dear friends, and he has actually been kind've a mentor to me for the past year plus. Not to mention they're just plain ol' fun to be with. But even as I sit here typing this up, I find myself crying (...again...).

I get it that people come and go in your life. And I've only even known them for a little less than 2 years. I guess I've just grown really fond of them? I don't know... like I said, it's kind've strange how much this is effecting me. I almost feel stupid. Hopefully it doesn't weird them out to hear that. ha.

But I can honestly say that I hope we remain friends, even after they are gone. We don't know, yet, just how far away they'll be going or where they'll be... they're still trying to figure that out. But for some reason I'm really having a hard time with this.

Gosh dang it. My tear-ducts must be broken... there's a leak or something. Any eye plumbers out there??

I know that God's got plans for them. And I know that he's got plans for me. To prosper all of us and not to harm us. To bring glory to him. I just hate that those plans are going to be in different places, even if just for now. It sucks.

But I know that his ways are higher than mine. I can't even begin to comprehend what he's doing in and around us. I just hate it when it hurts, ya know?

And what makes this weekend even more difficult (and probably why the shut-off valve for my eyes is MIA) is the stuff that I can't really write about. I wish I could. I want answers to some things. I feel like I deserve some answers!! And hey - maybe you guys could shed some light on some stupid situations, but unfortunately I'm left without.

Honestly - I wish I could just dump it all out there. I want to just get it off my chest, but I just don't feel right about it, right now. And it sucks. Dang it - why am I such a freaking nice person?! Ugh!!

Some of it is related to the above, and some is not. So if you're reading this and you know me, and you're wondering why I'm being such a big weird baby, then know that there's more at play.

And you know how it is... a piece of paper doesn't weigh much, but when you start to stack it all up, and then fill a box, and then another... it starts to really weigh you down.

I just feel so torn. I feel stuck. I've really felt like God has been moving me in a certain direction, and now I keep asking myself if I just misheard or misunderstood him.

But his sheep will know his voice. And the Lord confides in those who fear him. That's what my bible tells me... what my Jesus tells me. And I believe it.

...and that's why I'm so confused! Because what I feel and what I'm experiencing don't add up. God's saying "apples" and all I'm seeing are oranges. I'm surrounded by oranges. Oranges. ORANGES!

What the heck?!

And I think, too, that I got so caught off guard because I wasn't expecting ANYthing like this. I did NOT see this coming at all (back to the original subject here, folks).

But then it did.

And I realized how much I take for granted.


Even just in general.

But I was asked by several people, this morning, how I was doing. They're the ones leaving, and people have been asking how I was doing. So to most of them I just replied that I'm doing good. That I'll obviously miss them (they have no idea, I'd bet), but I know God's got a plan a-working and things all work out for his glory.

But then one person asked me how I was doing, and I began spouting off what became my routine answer, and all of a sudden I sprung a leak, again! I had been fine ALL morning, and then BAM.

I felt like SUCH a dweeb.

But I think we both knew that he wasn't asking for the standard answer, but he wanted to truth. And, well, he got it. I started crying, again, and just smiled. He said "yeah. I figured..." and said that he'd be praying for me. Which is all he can do, really.

Again... have I mentioned that I totally feel like a dweeb with how much this is effecting me.

It's just that we'd made so much progress, I felt. We were doing things. I've been growing so much.

And even through it all... last night as I was trying to go to sleep and my mind just would NOT stop running in circles... I just felt like God was pushing this song back at me that I had been working on a while ago. One that I had worked on with Travis and didn't get very far. And then he came back with some changes to the melody and, again, it kind've stayed in that stage for a while.

But last night I just couldn't sleep and I couldn't stop thinking through this song. I felt like God was really just leading me to focus on it, and I just really couldn't help but do just that.

In God's grace and sovereignty, I feel like I might've finished it last night. And I don't know how I did that without crying (I told you I've been a weepy mess... poor McStudly), though, in the interest of full disclosure, I did get choked up by that knot in my throat...

You know what's funny? I made it through this last night without a single tear, but as I prepare to write the words to the song here on the blog, I am crying yet again (or still, maybe?).

Anyways - here it is. Not all of it, but the main point of it, in poetic order as I'm feeling right now (so, basically, not in song format or order):

Our hearts now changed by your love
Your praise my lips will still proclaim
Who can ever compare to You,
God, I'll never be the same

You're my strength when I have none
You're my vict'ry, You're the one
I may stumble, I may fall
But by Your grace, You're my all
You're my all

You make life out of death
You bring peace and rest
You're my all in all

You bring joy in my pain
Time and time again
Jesus, You're my all

So yeah. I cried. I took a break. I think I'm past it, now, but Lord knows it'll probably come back in a second or two.

Basically, I'm a big huge dork baby and I probably need a midol or something (I promise I don't usually cry this much, no matter how much McStudly probably says otherwise) and I'll be fine. But I'm not happy about this change.

*insert pouty lip and child-like tantrum stomping here*

But I'll accept it, because... well, what other choice do I have?!

I just know that I will really miss them more than I thought I would miss someone I've only known for not-even 2 years. And I hope I haven't freaked them out by saying so. ha ha

Keep praying for me, guys. And please add our church to your list, if you can. We need to find a new worship leader and transition as smoothly as possible. And hopefully some other big bits of my mess can be cleaned up soon... include the puddles caused by my leaky eye-holes. *sigh*

Love you guys. Thanks for letting me blubber on here. And count your blessings that this is not a video blog because I am NOT a cute crier. No no... not in the slightest.

Snot ya later.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

I got on here to write and then blanked. TOtally blanked. I had plans, too. Don't remember what they were, obviously... but they were there. In my head.


Oh good grief.

Anywho - I guess I'll catch you folks later. I'm running out of brain power (as you can see from the instantaneous memory loss I've expressed above).


Sunday, April 4, 2010

Involuntary Slackage

Hi! I'm still here!! I haven't disappeared or moved on... and I never meant to be an involuntary slacker. It just happened. LIFE just happened! It's been SO crazy around here. I won't give you excuses, though, because that's a waste of time and energy (that I don't really have either, to be honest with you), but here are a few updates as to what's going on in the Puhl house:

- We've been lucky enough to gain yet another psycho neighbor (yay us!) and are just giddy about that. *blank face*

- I've still been working hard at my internship to become a volunteer counselor at the local Pregnancy Clinic. It's been go aMAZingly! Seriously. I actually counselled my first client this past week (with observation, of course). I have around 6 weeks left, I believe, then my final observation and then *fingers crossed* it'll be official!

- Work has been absolutely absurd, lately. Busy busy BUSY! For both of us, really. McStudly has worked many-a long day, as of late, and I feel like I've put in WAY more hours than I'd really like. There's hopefully a gleam of light at the end of the tunnel, but it's still a bit too far away for us to be able to tell if it's a light or just dream.

- Still working steadily on things around the house. Making dents here and there in the progress and making it more organized and livable. The laundry area isn't finished just yet - we still need to finish painting and then hang the shelves and fabric, but it's SO much better already. We ended up buying an inexpensive rug for the floor in a dark color just to muffle puppy paws and hide the mud he tracks in. BUT no worries - we DID get the washer and dryer we wanted... a step up, in face. AND they're a gorgeous popping RED color. :-D

- Total Budget changes. Well... not total, but some really good ones. We'll be saving more, not adding to debt as we pay it off, and getting to wear even big home reno projects will be paid for in cash and NOT added debt. Squee!!

I'm SURE I'm forgetting a bazillion things, but hopefully I won't be so MIA in the coming days/weeks/months. I can't promise when things will change, but I am a-hoping that it's soon!

So basically, keep praying for the McStud and I. And feel free to leave some love. I miss my bloggy buddies - that's been the worst part of being too busy, but I have been doing my best to be able to at least read your blogs. I promise (but FYI, some of your sites are now unavailable from my work computer, which is when I used to catch up on my blog-reading at lunch. Boo!) I will keep that up, and even try to comment instead of just blog-stalking. ha ha ha

So basically... I miss you guys! But hopefully that will change soon. ;-)