What Was I Thinking?!

With everything that McStudly and I have been dealing with lately... between the house snafu, the hospital visits, job hunting, etc etc... we've been learning a lot.

The best part about it is that with his recently being diagnosed with Crohns' Disease, we've grown SO much with God and together, even. It's been amazing. Last night we had the BEST pillow talk. It was just perfect. We are lifting each other up and encouraging each other - being open with each other in our walk with God and what we're learning through all of this.

To be honest, I've been thinking about a song. (what else is new, right?!) I'm one of those people who totally loses herself in music. I believe there is a song (or will be soon) for every mood, every situation, everything! And It's kind've neat how this worked out...


Tuesday nights we have practice for the worship sets we'll be doing the following Wednesday and Sunday at church. So the night before McStudly went back into the hospital, I was there... practice practice practice... blah blah blah... it was over. Well, our Worship Pastor had mentioned he wanted me to learn a few new songs for us to be able to sing in the near future. So I followed him back to his office and he played/burned me a CD of 3 songs. All different artists, writers, performers, etc. They were awesome. The songs were 1 - "All I Want" by Kristy Starling (no clue if that's the actual title, but I'm guessing), 2 - "You Are God Alone" by another chick (a song we've all heard, and there's about 50 million versions of... but we plan to make our own), and 3 - "Desert Song (I Will Bring Praise" by Hillsong United.

Uh. Maze. Ing.


Seriously. Desert Song is SO stinking powerful. It starts off a little different then your typical worship song, but I could NOT get enough of it this week. Call me crazy, but I don't think it's a coincidence that I was given this CD to "practice" the night before McStudly went back into the hospital. I listened to it all week driving back and forth, and all over creation. This song was just SO encouraging and almost became an anthem (which sounds SO unbelievably cheesy, I know).

Let me put the lyrics in here for you, and I'll add emphasis on what really caught me every time I listened to it:


"This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame

I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow"


It's just been SO amazing listening and singing that song. I've been declaring and singing it just driving down the road and cannot be more at peace about everything.

I don't preach a lot on here (or maybe I do more than I realize?), but this is just something I really felt like I should share. "All of my life, in EVERY season, YOU ARE STILL GOD, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship."


I need to praise him through everything, because no matter what my circumstances are, He is STILL God and that alone is reason enough to praise him and give him the Glory that he deserves.

I don't have a clue what his plan will be that it should involve all of this, but I know that he is the one that is All-Knowing, and I am not. He is the one that created us. So I will praise him even still.


PS: Google the song - you won't regret it. and I hear there's an awesome video out ther esomewhere about how the song came about - I'll definitely be checking that out when I get the chance!!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Well... that's what I've been thinking about. What about you guys? Anything at all... what has been on your mind lately? It can be about switching cereals or finding a new job, or just trying to make it though day-to-day life, but I'd love to hear it.

So spill! :-D

You Can Stand Under My Umbrella

SO we're finally home. McStudly was discharged yesterday from the hospital and was super excited to finally sleep in his own bed, last night, next to his wonderful, amazing, totally awesome wife *cough cough*. And he missed his dog a little bit, too (understatement of the century). It was a very happy reunion, folks.


So the Doc "feels strongly" that it's Crohns' Disease. The biopsies from Friday's Colonoscopy came back "inconclusive", but she said that's not uncommon for Crohns' patients. There's one final test they are waiting on, and here's the thing: if it's negative, it won't rule out Crohns', but if it's positive, it'll pretty much point all fingers in that direction. Let's hope we just get some more answers. We don't like getting a "probably" diagnosis. We aren't the kind of people that just want "a" diagnosis... we'd rather get "the" diagnosis, even if it's "we don't have a clue", though that would totally suck.

I'm exhausted. I can hardly say he's exhausted, but he is tired of all the drama of this past week. Poor guy's got thoughts flying a mile-a-minute in that gorgeous skull of his... and so many questions.


The kicker? We have to decide by Friday is he's going to re-enlist. You see - he's been working tons of job leads for the past two months. Some have fallen, some have re-appeared, and some have been going strong. But a few of them needed him to get some information to him this past week... and then this happened. So we're kind've in limbo as to where they sit, and also if it even matters.

The thing we've learned about Crohns' is that it's pretty unpredictable, at best. You can have a mild to severe case, but it can change. So you may have a mild case this year and then next year it's severe. Or, you can go into remission and not have a relapse for 30 years. So... we're still learning. Our biggest concern is it's impact on employment. We've read that it can make a difference in some areas. Depending on how severe of a case it is, of course. And the 10 pills he's currently taking a day (which is supposed to be 18, if they can figure out how he can take this other medicine... we'll get to that later) for a mild case of Crohns' disease would be WAY expensive without Tri-Care covering it. Not to mention what could happen in a normal job if he has a flare-up like this one, where he was in the hospital for 5 days.

It seems that re-enlisting is the most reasonable option. And it's not awful, just not necessarily what McStudly wanted to do. And I want him to be happy - cause when McStudly's happy, I'm happy... and Austin McDog is pretty easy to please either way, but it still helps.


The worst part, at least for the next 3 weeks, is the pills. McStudly has NEVER been able to take pills. NE-VER! Since he was a child. His father even put him in the bathroom, once, and told him he couldn't come out until he swallowed them. He sat in there for hours. It didn't happen. McStudly was sad. But that means that now - we have to buy everything in Chewable or liquid form. And I guess they don't make Flagyl in an orange flavored, chewable tablet... or any of his other meds, for that matter. So we have to crush them all up in applesauce or Chocolate pudding. We may try oatmeal, too, but that's still up in the air.

The Doctor prescribed something called Pentasa, which is a common Crohns' medication. The problem? It's an Extended Release (ER) tablet and, well, he can't take pills! Crushing an ER tablet just makes the whole "timed release" aspect null and void. In all fairness to the Doc, she didn't know he can't take pills. In all fairness to us, if she had given us more than a split-friggin-second of her TIME then we could've TOLD her!! (different rant for a different post, I suppose...) So we talked to the Physicians' Assistant (PA) - who was AWESOME,by the way - and she did what she could, but wasn't able to find another form of the medicine. So she recommended we talk to the Pharmacist about similar meds that may work. Well, he came up with another ER tablet (super helpful, sir!) and one non-ER tablet (hooray!) which we called the PA back about... etc, etc.

So the Doc just decided she wanted to call the people who make Pentasa and see if it would be alright for McStudly to just spill the contents of the pill and take it that way... obviously making it no-longer ER, but still giving him the meds. Once we hear back on that one, we'll be adding at least 8 more pills to the daily mix, and possibly more - because he has to take 1000mg 4 times a day, so it'll just depend on what dosage they give him.


Whew! That's a lot! We're still considering getting a second opinion, but that would be the military, so it may not even be worth it... then again, the guy he saw last time was pretty good, so it may not be bad after-all.


So - question for all you mil-wives out there: any idea how/if Crohns' can affect eligibility for enlistment? Or if he'll be deployable? We're pretty sure an auto-immune disease would make some kind of impact, but we're hoping not, if it's under control by meds, etc.

Anywho, prayers are greatly appreciated. Thoughts are pretty much just as good, and encouragement would be wonderful! McStudly went from being completely healthy - never sick a day in his LIFE (literally, I believe) to now having a disease that will be with him for the rest of his life. It's life-changing, for him. Not that he felt invincible before, but it's kind've a wake-up call to someone who's taken advantage of their health for so long... maybe even a reminder to those of you who are doing the same?



Well, I want to thank all of you for your warm encouraging comments and your help (Kristin - THANKS for the advice about the C. Diff diagnosis!!). You've been so great to us and we appreciate all of your support. Now - hopefully we'll be able to have some more upbeat posts in the near future, instead of this depressing medical drama.

I'll leave you with the lyrics to a very well-known song that's been in my head for the past week. I think it sums up an aspect marriage the that it's supposed to be, and I love it - so far every version I've heard is great, but the version I like right now is actually Mandy Moore's mellow-er version (hang in there... it gets good in the middle). Check it out if you get the chance - it's NOT the original, not even close, but it's pretty awesome. Anyways, here are the lyrics:


"You have my heart
And we'll never be worlds apart
Maybe in magazines
But you'll still be my star
Baby cause in the dark
Who can see shiny cars
That's when you need me there
With you I'll always share
Because...

When the sun shines We'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'd always be your friend
Took an oath I'mma stick it out 'till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Told you we'll still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella
You can stand under my Umbrella (Ella ella eh eh)
Under my umbrella (Ella eh eh)

These fancy things
Will never come in between
You're my entity
Here for Infinity
When the war has took it's part
When the world has dealt it's cards
If the hand is hard
Together we'll mend your heart
Because...

When the sun shines We'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'd always be your friend
Took an oath I'mma stick it out 'till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Told you we'll still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella
You can stand under my Umbrella (Ella ella eh eh)
Under my umbrella (Ella ella eh eh)
Under my umbrella (Ella ella eh eh)
Under my umbrella

You can run into my Arms
That's okay don't be alarmed
Come into Me
There's no distance in between our love
Gonna let the rain pour
I'll be all you need and more ooohh
Because...

When the sun shines We'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
I Took an oath I'mma stick it out 'till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Told you we still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella
You can stand under my Umbrella (Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella (Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella (Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella (Ella ella eh eh eh)

It's raining (raining)
Ooo baby it's raining (raining)
Come into me
Come into me
It's raining (raining)
Ooo baby it's raining (raining)
Come into me
Come into me"



I love you, baby! Forever and ever. 143

Toodles!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PS: I really am going to send out those Pay-It-Forward gifts. Things have been a tad-bit crazy, lately. I hope you can understand!!

The Skinny

McStudy's been in the hospital since early Wednesday afternoon. He hasn't had anything to eat since the apple he ate late Tuesday night and he's been given fluids and antibiotics to treat his symptoms.

They believe and are treating it like Crohns' Disease. However, this morning we were thrown a curve-ball. (if you're squeamish or don't like talking about intestines... stop reading. kthanksbye)


The Physicians' Assistant came in this morning (the same uber helpful girl we had last time we were here - she's seriously amazing, folks!) and told us that the stool sample that McStudly gave Thursday morning (it was not easy... but he finally did it) tested positive for C. Diff (click the link to read more about it - it's kind've creepy and anyone can get it).

They want to make sure that it's just C. Diff, and not a combination of things, so they moved forward with his Colonoscopy, scheduled for 1300 today. So... as I type they should be finishing that up. But, the thing about C. Diff is that it can cause spores to develop in the intestines, which can prevent them from being able to do the procedure. Hopefully that wasn't the case and they were able to do what they needed to do.


The strange thing about C. Diff is what causes it. Now, read up on it, via the link above, because it's something that can be easily spread from person to person, meaning anyone can get it at any time... but the original cause is usually antibiotics. Weird, right?! When you take certain antibiotics (like Flagyl), it kills the bacteria in your intestines. The problem? It kills both the good AND the bad bacteria types. This allows C. Diff - a common every day intestinal bacteria - to actually start running rampid in your intestines. It kind've takes over and make itself at home, so to speak. Puts down some nice roots and sits back to enjoy the havoc is wreaking on the body it's living in.

It presents itself through diarrhea, fever up to 105, and abdominal cramping... so pretty much the same as bad Mexican food, so most people write it off for the first little bit, until it gets so bad that you can't stand it anymore - which is what happened with Mcstudly.


The reason this is all strange to me is this: if C. Diff happens when your body's bacteria levels are off kilter and you can't fight it off on your own, the how did McStudly get it in the first place? I ask for this reason - McStudly isn't working, right now (thank to his military terminal leave) so he doesn't have contact with anyone at work. We are at church only 2 days a week and we both come in contact with all the same people. So that leaves me - and I've never had C. Diff before. If this is the case, then where did he get it? Up until the first "episode" (which you can read about here and here), he wasn't on any antibiotics. And he hasn't even so much as thrown up in about 7 years... up until this past Wednesday, that is. So how did he get it in the first place?


The Doctors are all wondering the same thing. Which is why they went ahead with the Colonoscopy. Something had to cause the first "episode", at which point they put him on antibiotics... and then the antibiotics worked their magic and over time allowed C. Diff to run rampid and screw with McStudly's emotions.



The bottom line is that we don't know anything yet. Scratch that - I don't know anything yet. Looking at the time, his Colonoscopy should be finished and they have hopefully learned the cause of everything at this point.

Either way, I'm ready for this to be over (and I'm sure McStudly, if he wasn't heavily medicated and loopy at the moment, would be throwing in a hefty "Amen!" at that) and life to be back to normal... whatever that means.



I'll keep you in the loop as we learn things. Check out my twitter for updates as I get them (and it's posted on the right column for those of you who aren't cool, yet, and don't do twitter).

Toodles!





PS: If you are able, go get some sleep for me. I'm running on about 6 hours total since Wednesday morning and it's NOOOOTTT cool. Just ask my co-worker... she'll tell you. ;-)

Oh yeah - Another PS: Anyone living in the MD area want to watch my over sized cuddle-pup this weekend? Poor thing hasn't had any time out of his crate except to eat, poop, and pee, and then he's back in again. :-(

Is It Friday, Yet?!

It's been an INSANELY busy week - between returning from vacation, to trying to get our house complete, and then having to take McStudly back to the Hospital yesterday... we just can't catch a break around here. I already feel like I need another vacation when we just got BACK from one (and a good one, at that) not 5 days ago!

Ah well, what can ya do? When life hands ya lemons... you throw it in with some super sweet tea and BOTTOM'S UP! Right?! I actually don't like lemon in my super sweet southern-esque tea, but who's counting.

Anywho - I'll try to update with pictures and/or info when I get the chance. But at this rate, that won't be until like... August! Not really - but right now other things are taking up my time and blogging isn't the highest priority (as much as I'd love it to be).


Sorry guys. I'll be back soon! But please leave me some love. I'm still trying to read up and comment on your blogs when I get the chance. And for those of you who commented on the "Pay It Forward" blog, please leave me your e-mail addresses again (just to save me the time of having to look it up), please, so I can get your addresses and mail you your goodies!!

Who doesn't love free stuff, right?!



Toodles!

Oh Yeah

I almost forgot!! By now, I'm sure some of you are aware of McStudly and his... interesting take on things. He's a riot, this man. I love him to pieces, really!

Last night as we were in bed, he had me ROLLING! He had said something *cough* about my silhouette as I was putting my pajamas on in the dark (movingrightalong), and then he starting singing...


McS: (singing-ish?) "It'sa silhouettah duh tah duh..."

Umm... what are you singing?

McS: "It'sa silhouettah duh tah duh!"

(poorly controlling my laughter) Oh... is that supposed to be the Queen song?

McS: Yes. (singin again) "It'sa silhouettah duh tah duh..."

(Laughing harder) You're kidding, right?!

McS: No - that's how it goes. Trust me... I know.

(almost in hysterics) One more time... what is it again?

McS: (singing) "It'sa silhouettah duh tah duh..."

What are the words you're singing? Can you just say them?

McS: "It's... a... silhouettah... ... (hesitating) ... ... duhtahduh!" Why? What do you think it is? (my favorite part was how he waved his hand around for the "duhtahduh" part. It just added to the moment, really.)

I dunno... maybe "I see a little silhouettah of a man..."? (laughing, because I know most of the song, though I'm not sure if I should be proud of that or not)

McS: No. No, babe. That's definitely not it.





Oh my he's got to be the funniest person I know, sometimes.

*sigh*

Light as a Feather

Yesterday's post was pretty heavy, especially for someone returning from vacation!! So just to lighten things up a bit, take a gander at these little snafus.

Poor little old ladies who type the church bulletin - they're so naive... or are they?! The below statements were found in church bulletins or announced from the pulpit. And boy I would've LOVED to have been there for it!



The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
----------------------------------------------------------
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
----------------------------------------------------------
Our youth basket ball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
----------------------------------------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
----------------------------------------------------------
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
----------------------------------------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
----------------------------------------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
----------------------------------------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
----------------------------------------------------------
The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
----------------------------------------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
---------------------------------------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
--------------------------------------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
----------------------------------------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
----------------------------------------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
-------------------------------------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
-----------------------------------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
-----------------------------------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
-------------------------------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
-----------------------------------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
-----------------------------------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7PM. Please use the back door.
----------------------------------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
-----------------------------------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
------------------------------------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: " I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours!




Ha ha ha - good stuff, eh?!

It's Just Not Right

As you know, McStudly and I were out of town all last week. We had a great time with the family, but came home to some very disconcerting news.

We received a phone call from a friend and neighbor Saturday afternoon while we waited for our plane to begin boarding. Apparently, our road had been blocked off and something had happened at the end of our street... literally.


Here's the story: http://tinyurl.com/nt38lo


What makes me so angry about the incident? I'll tell you.

It was Saturday afternoon. The pool was open. People were outside because it was such a nice day. Now will someone PLEASE explain to me how this happened and no one... not ONE person... stepped in? No one screamed anything at the "boys" that were doing this. No one ran up or tried to stop what was happening. Not a ONE of them.


This happened in the middle of the street. Not on a sidewalk behind a tree or parked car, not behind a row of town homes or in a wooded area - in the middle of the STREET! And this isn't a road-little-travelled. It is the only road in and out of 95% of these homes. The pool is like 100 yards away.


And yet a 14-year-old boy was BEAT to death? I may be wrong, but I'm pretty sure it takes more than to kicks to the ribs to kill someone this way. What I mean is that this isn't something that would've happened in a 30-second span of time. It would've taken a few minutes, right?

Someone PLEASE tell me how. I'm sure that police would rather you leave the breaking up of the situation up to them, but how can we sit by and just let this kind of stuff happen?


We live in a quite neighborhood. The most trouble we have is people jumping the fence at night to get to the pool, or maybe someone having had too much to drink at the apartments down the street and getting loud. My town isn't perfect and yes things happen everywhere.

But I'm not worried for my safety now. I'm not concerned about the crime rate rising. I'm NOT thinking about how I need to get out of this area. No. This was a planned attack. Teenage boys PLANNED to find this kid and BEAT him to a pulp. And because people are so concerned with themselves and too stuck up their own butts to do anything, they succeeded in killing this boy.


SOMEONE please explain that to me. How on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, in a neighborhood where there's always at least 2 people walking their dogs along this street and tons of children playing along the grass that lines it and too many cars to count driving alone this road... how were these teenagers able to find a window of a few minutes where they could beat the crap out of a 14-year-old boy who was riding his bicycle?


Are we that self-absorbed?

Thank GOD for the people who were there after they left. Thank the LORD that someone finally DID call 911. But I can't help but wonder what could have happened if someone has stepped in or even just yelled at the kids.

Seriously.

Someone else would be dead as well. That's possible. Someone could've been beaten worse than the boy and he would've lived. Yes - likely, even. OR they would've spooked and left it alone. Also another possibility.


But he was 14 years old!! He wasn't some 35-year-old man that had lived a good amount of his life. He was only 14! He didn't deserve to be left to fend for himself.



I don't know what happened to cause this. I don't know what petty little thing drove these 5-7 other teenage boys to think it necessary to jump him and beat his head in. And honestly? None of us probably ever will. But what gets me is that they succeeded.

Any punishment that gets dished out won't bring that little boy back. These boys got what they wanted. They got what they were after. And I hope that finding that out causes them to realize that it never really was worth it after all. I hope that they feel remorseful and seek forgiveness and never look back at that kind of a life again. I hope that it doesn't haunt them for their entire life. I hope they can heal and that this boy's family can heal and that we can prevent this from every happening again... and least in our own neighborhood.


But I'm just sad, more than anything, that more could've been done and it wasn't.


So you may get a black eye. So you may get a broken rib. SO WHAT! This boy died... and the least we could've done would've been to make a little noise.

Letting this stuff go is what make a good neighborhood go bad. If we don't stand up for our home... for our town... who will?





Am I the only one that feels this way? What if it were your neighborhood. What if it was at the end of your street. What would you have done - be honest.