You Can Stand Under My Umbrella

SO we're finally home. McStudly was discharged yesterday from the hospital and was super excited to finally sleep in his own bed, last night, next to his wonderful, amazing, totally awesome wife *cough cough*. And he missed his dog a little bit, too (understatement of the century). It was a very happy reunion, folks.


So the Doc "feels strongly" that it's Crohns' Disease. The biopsies from Friday's Colonoscopy came back "inconclusive", but she said that's not uncommon for Crohns' patients. There's one final test they are waiting on, and here's the thing: if it's negative, it won't rule out Crohns', but if it's positive, it'll pretty much point all fingers in that direction. Let's hope we just get some more answers. We don't like getting a "probably" diagnosis. We aren't the kind of people that just want "a" diagnosis... we'd rather get "the" diagnosis, even if it's "we don't have a clue", though that would totally suck.

I'm exhausted. I can hardly say he's exhausted, but he is tired of all the drama of this past week. Poor guy's got thoughts flying a mile-a-minute in that gorgeous skull of his... and so many questions.


The kicker? We have to decide by Friday is he's going to re-enlist. You see - he's been working tons of job leads for the past two months. Some have fallen, some have re-appeared, and some have been going strong. But a few of them needed him to get some information to him this past week... and then this happened. So we're kind've in limbo as to where they sit, and also if it even matters.

The thing we've learned about Crohns' is that it's pretty unpredictable, at best. You can have a mild to severe case, but it can change. So you may have a mild case this year and then next year it's severe. Or, you can go into remission and not have a relapse for 30 years. So... we're still learning. Our biggest concern is it's impact on employment. We've read that it can make a difference in some areas. Depending on how severe of a case it is, of course. And the 10 pills he's currently taking a day (which is supposed to be 18, if they can figure out how he can take this other medicine... we'll get to that later) for a mild case of Crohns' disease would be WAY expensive without Tri-Care covering it. Not to mention what could happen in a normal job if he has a flare-up like this one, where he was in the hospital for 5 days.

It seems that re-enlisting is the most reasonable option. And it's not awful, just not necessarily what McStudly wanted to do. And I want him to be happy - cause when McStudly's happy, I'm happy... and Austin McDog is pretty easy to please either way, but it still helps.


The worst part, at least for the next 3 weeks, is the pills. McStudly has NEVER been able to take pills. NE-VER! Since he was a child. His father even put him in the bathroom, once, and told him he couldn't come out until he swallowed them. He sat in there for hours. It didn't happen. McStudly was sad. But that means that now - we have to buy everything in Chewable or liquid form. And I guess they don't make Flagyl in an orange flavored, chewable tablet... or any of his other meds, for that matter. So we have to crush them all up in applesauce or Chocolate pudding. We may try oatmeal, too, but that's still up in the air.

The Doctor prescribed something called Pentasa, which is a common Crohns' medication. The problem? It's an Extended Release (ER) tablet and, well, he can't take pills! Crushing an ER tablet just makes the whole "timed release" aspect null and void. In all fairness to the Doc, she didn't know he can't take pills. In all fairness to us, if she had given us more than a split-friggin-second of her TIME then we could've TOLD her!! (different rant for a different post, I suppose...) So we talked to the Physicians' Assistant (PA) - who was AWESOME,by the way - and she did what she could, but wasn't able to find another form of the medicine. So she recommended we talk to the Pharmacist about similar meds that may work. Well, he came up with another ER tablet (super helpful, sir!) and one non-ER tablet (hooray!) which we called the PA back about... etc, etc.

So the Doc just decided she wanted to call the people who make Pentasa and see if it would be alright for McStudly to just spill the contents of the pill and take it that way... obviously making it no-longer ER, but still giving him the meds. Once we hear back on that one, we'll be adding at least 8 more pills to the daily mix, and possibly more - because he has to take 1000mg 4 times a day, so it'll just depend on what dosage they give him.


Whew! That's a lot! We're still considering getting a second opinion, but that would be the military, so it may not even be worth it... then again, the guy he saw last time was pretty good, so it may not be bad after-all.


So - question for all you mil-wives out there: any idea how/if Crohns' can affect eligibility for enlistment? Or if he'll be deployable? We're pretty sure an auto-immune disease would make some kind of impact, but we're hoping not, if it's under control by meds, etc.

Anywho, prayers are greatly appreciated. Thoughts are pretty much just as good, and encouragement would be wonderful! McStudly went from being completely healthy - never sick a day in his LIFE (literally, I believe) to now having a disease that will be with him for the rest of his life. It's life-changing, for him. Not that he felt invincible before, but it's kind've a wake-up call to someone who's taken advantage of their health for so long... maybe even a reminder to those of you who are doing the same?



Well, I want to thank all of you for your warm encouraging comments and your help (Kristin - THANKS for the advice about the C. Diff diagnosis!!). You've been so great to us and we appreciate all of your support. Now - hopefully we'll be able to have some more upbeat posts in the near future, instead of this depressing medical drama.

I'll leave you with the lyrics to a very well-known song that's been in my head for the past week. I think it sums up an aspect marriage the that it's supposed to be, and I love it - so far every version I've heard is great, but the version I like right now is actually Mandy Moore's mellow-er version (hang in there... it gets good in the middle). Check it out if you get the chance - it's NOT the original, not even close, but it's pretty awesome. Anyways, here are the lyrics:


"You have my heart
And we'll never be worlds apart
Maybe in magazines
But you'll still be my star
Baby cause in the dark
Who can see shiny cars
That's when you need me there
With you I'll always share
Because...

When the sun shines We'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'd always be your friend
Took an oath I'mma stick it out 'till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Told you we'll still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella
You can stand under my Umbrella (Ella ella eh eh)
Under my umbrella (Ella eh eh)

These fancy things
Will never come in between
You're my entity
Here for Infinity
When the war has took it's part
When the world has dealt it's cards
If the hand is hard
Together we'll mend your heart
Because...

When the sun shines We'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'd always be your friend
Took an oath I'mma stick it out 'till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Told you we'll still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella
You can stand under my Umbrella (Ella ella eh eh)
Under my umbrella (Ella ella eh eh)
Under my umbrella (Ella ella eh eh)
Under my umbrella

You can run into my Arms
That's okay don't be alarmed
Come into Me
There's no distance in between our love
Gonna let the rain pour
I'll be all you need and more ooohh
Because...

When the sun shines We'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
I Took an oath I'mma stick it out 'till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Told you we still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella
You can stand under my Umbrella (Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella (Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella (Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella (Ella ella eh eh eh)

It's raining (raining)
Ooo baby it's raining (raining)
Come into me
Come into me
It's raining (raining)
Ooo baby it's raining (raining)
Come into me
Come into me"



I love you, baby! Forever and ever. 143

Toodles!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PS: I really am going to send out those Pay-It-Forward gifts. Things have been a tad-bit crazy, lately. I hope you can understand!!

Habits

There's been a lot of stuff going on around me, lately. And this time, I'm talking of things OTHER than my home, etc. I mean... within good friends, within family ... it's been quite a few months.

I've learned a few things that I'd like to share with you. Some of it has been told to me and some of it has been realized. It's in no particular order, but all of it is important and relevant.


You can't see the shadow of your own light, for it hides behind the very obstacles you cannot see around. For some of us, these obstacles are obvious... for some of us, they aren't. They can be our pride. They can be our material items. They can be our attitudes and stubbornness. And they can even be our decisions or mistakes. But we all have a tendency to believe we have the best view there is. And from where you're standing, that may be true. The important thing to remember is there's someone else with a view that you don't have - and they may see that dead end around the corner that you can't see from where you are.

Instinct is to think you're fine. You can see perfectly well, from here, and what do they know? Well, often times they know more than you think. You think that your perspective is better because you're been driving down this road of life longer, or because you've been down that turn before. But things change. And the people you think you're "better" than often have some bits of information that you don't have.

1 Timothy 4:12 says "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." Often times, we don't even acknowledge the latter of the verse, because we've already written people due to their age or inexperience... or for simply not being "you".


We often judge others by their words or actions, while judging ourselves by our own intentions. Be honest. You totally do it. We ALL do. Because we know our intentions in certain situations where we can't possibly know someone else's. It's just easier to judge by their actions, isn't it? But that doesn't make it right. It's a really hard habit to break - I'm still catching myself on this one. But it's very important to remember.

Luke 6:41-42 says "41"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 42How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

It's so easy to judge others more harshly than ourselves - this person has an entire PLANK in his eye while he's worried about the little bitty speck in someone else's. Now that's messed up. But it's reality. Again - we all do it. It's just easier than having to pull out a mirror and deal with the pain of "de-planking" ourselves. Because it does hurt. It sucks. It's like throwing soap on a wound. You just avoid it, because no matter how much the wound itself hurts, you KNOW it'll hurt like 50x worse with the soap on it. Sure the soap will make it better and clean it out so it can heal, but it HURTS! Right?!

So we defend ourselves when people do it to us because "I was just trying to help" or "I didn't want it to get worse". But when we're doing it to someone else, it doesn't matter. It's black and white. The gray area that existed when we were the ones being pointed at no longer exists. It doesn't matter because they are wrong, end of story.



Ultimately, I guess I'm learning more and more about how easy it is to look down on people or judge people. But when we do that, we're putting ourselves above them. And then we have a false sense of humility to say that we're just "trying to help".

If you have a place of trust in someone's life, then you can speak into them and encourage them to better themselves. But if you don't, sticking your foot on their head and just starting to yank away will just make them angry, and you'll lose your chance to speak into them at all.



I encourage you guys to, within the coming weeks, evaluate yourself and see where you are. I know I'm gonna have to put a pillow on my rear with all the self-kicking I've done while writing this post, so you're not alone. And it's nobody's business but your own. That's the thing about self-evaluation... it's a private thing. Nobody needs to know your junk, but you will find that there are times when sharing your own junk may help someone with theirs.




Well, I know I'm guilty of it, so I need to go make some changes. If I'm the only one and this all seemed like rambling to you guys, well I apologize. But I think it helps me sometimes to put things in writing, before I see what it all means. Am I the only one that's like that??