Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Putting My Foot Down

Okay - so I'm overwhelmed, right now. There's a lot going on at once and I'm going to have to put a stop to some things.

I tend to get pretty close tot he "too much at once" line. It's part of who I am. I don't know why I do it, but I do. So when other people start kind've pushing me closer and closer, I'm pretty understanding at first. I mean... they don't know everything I'm doing. They see their small snippet and think that's it. I do the same thing to others, I'm sure.

After all, you never really know what's going on in someone's heart and life. It's not like they walk around with their schedule and emotional status pinned on their sleeves... I hope...

But I'm at the point where the pushing is getting old. Look - I've given you more than I probably should have to begin with, but that's it. That's what you get, take it or leave it.

This probably sounds uber confusing to most of you. But this is my main source of venting, and it's been WAY too long since I've unleashed some frustration that I've been holding in. Forgive me for not explaining everything, but it'll probably just be even more confusing. Try to bear with me.

I just can't take it anymore. I can handle pushing and shoving with a good amount of grace, but I have a limit. I try to hint at first. You know... maybe they aren't aware how much they're pushing me... I try to give them the benefit and think they can't possibly know it's starting to hurt a little, so I tell them no. It's ever so polite and simple at first.

Why can't it end there?

So they smile and "hear" what I say, without really listening.

I say it again. A little less smile this time, and maybe a little info as to why, like "I'm stretched pretty thin as it is, so..." and hope that they get it.

I know they aren't stupid. I know they are smart people. They really really are smart. Why aren't the understanding me. Did I suddenly learn Spanish so well that I don't even realize I'm speaking in the wrong language? I'm gonna lean towards no on that one. I'm pretty sure it's English... and besides, after 2 years of Spanish in high school, I only really know how to say "where are my pants?" (don't ask), so there's no way I suddenly picked it up.

And then it gets to where I am now. I've put my foot down 3 or 4 times now, and they just aren't getting it.

And this is where I'm stuck. Do I go all diva on them and MAKE it known that I am not at their beck and call? Or maybe I need to put it in writing... or equations, even. Like maybe this:

Me = not + available ( - current commitment) = no more tasking

Wait. That isn't nearly simple enough.

But they keep putting me in the position of almost having to take it to that point. And what grinds my gears is the fact that I'm pretty sure that's their goal. They're asking me publicly, in front of people, to where I almost have to say yes. And then it's super awkward when I say no, because they've already moved on, as if I've already given them a yes. But umm... hello?! "Umm yeah, sorry. I actually can't."

Then their faces... It's like I hauled off and slapped their granny.

Really, people? I'm trying to be as super nice and kind about this as I can. This is your thing, not mine. I have no obligations here whatsoever. But you really want me to seem like some kind of diva-fied chick that will walk if she doesn't get her way? Reminder: This isn't something I signed up for. I was asked to do a favor, and I conceded. Then I went a step further when you needed more help, and then again. But that's it. I've already gone three miles with the 1 inch I gave. I'm way past running on empty here.

Other parts of my life are currently suffering. Other people in my life are now suffering. Relationships that are very important to me are whithering and just short of dying.

But all you see is how this is affecting you and your plans.

Am I the only one that has problems like this? I'm trying to hard to be nice and forgiving and understanding, but it's really hard when the other parties aren't giving it a second thought.


I should probably clarify something right now. This has NOTHING to do with anything else that I've blogged before. Ever. Never ever.

In fact, if you think you know what I'm talking about... you probably do not have any idea. If you want to know, feel free to e-mail me at sarahpuhl [at] gmail [dot] com. I'll clarify. I'm trying to be vague for several reasons, so I'm sorry if I've created a ton of confusion.


Okay. Enough of that. I guess I needed to vent a little more then I originally thought. For those of you that stuck with me - any advice? I could really use it right now. Like for reals.


Lindsay Gray said...

Sorry you're having a rough go right now. And right in the middle of the Holiday season can't be easy either. I'm a lot like you in the way that I feel SO much pressure to say "yes" whenever asked a favor. But that means that we tend to be taken advantage of at times.

Stay strong and stand up for yourself!

Lindsey said...

Awww friend, you can vent anytime you need to. HUGS!!

Angie said...

Just learn to say NO, politely but NO, I have done that lately better than ever, because I dont need the stress. YOU CAN DO IT! Love you!