Thursday, April 14, 2011

Workin' It Out

Ouch. Two weeks since my last post. My bad! I’ve actually been meaning to post about a thought that I’ve been working through, lately. Kind’ve a gigantic metaphor for marriage, if you will. But first, a little back-story... I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it before, because it’s not something that we typically broadcast (mainly because we know it can be controversial in some circles), but Studly and I haven’t been part of a church for coming up on 1 year, now. In the interest of full disclosure, it’s been for no other reason than that we just haven’t found a church family in which we felt like we really were a part, but that's not really the point of this post. I miss it terribly, at times. The accountability. The genuine friendships. The corporate worship. The different perspectives preached ever Sunday. But honestly? I think more than anything, we needed this time away from an organized church atmosphere. We have grown SO much in the past year. And in the past few months, it’s been even greater. We are a daily work-in-progress, but I genuinely feel like we’re starting to adjust to our intended roles in marriage. I fully believe that men and women were created uniquely to fit a specific role. That’s what the bible says, and therefore it’s what I believe. I’m not feminist by any stretch of the imagination, but I do know that it was NOT an easy pill to swallow. I felt like I shouldn’t have to ANSWER to anyone, but God. I shouldn’t be ruled over by some guy that isn’t perfect, either… how is that fair? But can I just tell you that it’s not like that at ALL?! Whether Studly fulfills his role or not, I’m to submit to his leadership as the Priest of our home. Yes, he does have rules of his own, but I think as women (at least I did) we tend to jump straight to “but HE’S supposed to…” instead of just reading our own job description and applying it ourselves. It’s hard not to be the Holy Spirit FOR my husband. But that’s not the idea, here. Can I tell you one more thing? It is SOOO beautiful, the thing that happens when you both work towards your own role. When you are living in the way that God intended, it is AMAZING how much better things will flow together. Seriously!! Now, some of you have GOT to know what I’m talking about, here. There are so many metaphors I can use to throw this thing into gear, but it’s true. If each part of the body doesn’t do its own intended function, and instead argues that another body part gets the “better” job, or the more “important” job and tries to do that instead, then we’d be doomed. Every organ can’t be the heart, or there’d be no lungs, no brain, no stomach. Everything serves a purpose!! Oops. Tangent much? Sorry. What I’m trying to say is that we are learning a lot these days. And it really took us being out of an organized church environment for us to no longer rely on what we learned on the weekends to deepen our respective relationships with God. Not having a crutch to lean on required us to work through things diligently. To be more earnest in the time we DO spend with each other and with God. To be purposeful. And therefore, we’re not just checking some box off of the list, but we’re actually learning and training ourselves in the process. Now please know this: I am ABSOLUTELY NOT saying that ANYone should stop going to church in order to find this. I’m not even pretending that is some kind of magical equation to any kind of desired goal. Please don’t think that. I’m just saying that through everything, this is what came of that for us. We had a large number of reasons for leaving the church we once attended, but not becoming a part of another church right away was not the plan at all. It’s what happened, and through it all we sought after God’s will for our lives. It’s been a tough road, but we really believe that we’ve grown so so much. Anywho, I just wanted to give you a teeny little update on where we’ve been lately, but it’s all leading up to a post I’ve been wanting to write on a metaphor for marriage that I’ve come to understand. It’s nothing vast and it’ll probably be nothing to knew to any of you married people (possibly even a few singles), but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a little refresher or reminder from time to time. And for any single people, maybe it’ll be a bit of a window to what marriage will be like when that time comes. Alright. That’s enough for today, but I’m eager to hear your thoughts on the above “stuff.” Have any of you gone a length of time without being active in a church? Are there any of you that don’t go to church, and don’t plan to? What are you thoughts on the biblical roles intended for marriage? And Be Honest, Guys. This is a judgement free zone. I can totally handle hearing that someone doesn’t agree with me and I would love to discuss why it is you believe what you believe, whatever that may be. I can agree to disagree, so bring it on. :)