It Can Only Get Better From Here

Yesterday...

it has to have been the WORST day I have had in a very VERY long time. Let me sum up:

- woke up with the beginning stages of a migraine
- got to work and realized I had forgotten my badge
- received our BGE bill
- got ANOTHER call from Mr. Health Department
- my lunch caught on FIRE


So... I bet you're wondering why some of these things seemed to bad, and how in the world others actually happened. I'd be happy to oblige for the sake of my blog. :-) Now, I will essplain:


I woke up feeling awful and unable to open my eyes due to the vast amount of sunlight peering through my bedroom windows. For those of you who get migraines, you know that feeling. When you FIRST realize that a migraine is forming - it's like... there's no where to run... unless you enjoy sleeping in your bathtub with all doors shut and blankets stuffed under the doors. And it's not just like waking up with any headache, mind you. It's like waking up with pure agony being birthed in your head. Anywho, McStudly comes upstairs to wake me up (he had mysteriously woken up at like the butt-crack of dawn on his own and with no alarm clock, for some reason) and I send him off to fetch some Excedrin Migraine... the only medicine strong enough to fight off my personal Kryptonite. He does do, and I call in to work to tell them that I'll be late. Thank GOD I work with a soft spoken person, and not someone who answers the phone as loud and perky as my mother does (I love you, Momma Bear, but you know it's true!).

So I wake up about an hour and a half later feeling like I, along with my noble steed, Excedrin, had valiantly defeated my enemy. I get ready and head off to work. Upon turning into the - eh - establishment, I realize that I did not have my badge with me. If any of you know where I work, then you know I can't under ANY circumstances, even enter the parking lot without my badge. So I u-turn and pull into the Visitor's Center to get a temporary badge for the day. There is NO way I am turning around and going home to get it and come ALL the way back. So I go in and tell them I need a new badge. You would have thought that I was THE most IRRESPONSIBLE person on the PLANET! I'll spare you the conversational details and just skip to finally getting my badge and heading into the parking lot where I, amazingly, actually got a spot right in front of my building.

I headed inside and logged onto my computer to find an e-mail McStudly had sent while I was in Georgia this weekend. It was a forward of our BGE bill and HOLY LORD in HEAVEN!!! We only own a town home, mind you. Not even a large town home - like... a two story, two-bedroom town home. So then HOW, might I ask, is it even POSSIBLE for our bill to be well over $400??? Yeah... I didn't think it was possible, either. Especially since we just had BGE install our programmable thermostat last month. Here we thought we'd be cutting that bill in - like - HALF! Guess we were wrong on that one... (and don't worry, we've already cut our temperature down into like the low 62 degree range, after receiving this bill! Who needs anything more than blankets, right?)

I check my voicemail and, I should've known, Mr. Moulton's voice comes on, asking me to give him a call. Oy. I should've just gone home, then. So I call Mr. Moulton and he picks up right away. He informs me that they've received another complaint from Neighbor Lady (NL) and that we are now "required" to clean up our dog's poop every two days. Just FYI - we clean it up weekly. He goes one to sometimes two times a day. It's really not that much. But now, because they've received regular complaints over the same issue, though we've never ONCE been in violation of any HOA or County Health Codes, he has had to issue us a pre-citation. Now, a pre-citation has nothing to do with whether or not a violation has occurred, according to Mr. Moulton. But instead, it is the next step in dealing with a constant and regular complaint. Here's where I just let it all out. Now, I know that he is just doing is job. But after dealing with this huge load of crap (pun not originally intended, but left in for good measure) for the 4 and a half months that we've lived in our home, I think a good dose of sarcasm is long overdue. Fortunately for me, he doesn't really pick up on that kind of thing. So I'm laying it on PRETTY thick. "So let me get this straight, if I may... you have no regulations regarding cigarette smoke and it's affect on neighbors, however because she has to look at my dog's poop there's a 'health' concern?" Yes ma'am. That's correct. "Okay, so even though I can get LUNG cancer because she smokes about a pack-a-day in front of my house and her just having to LOOK at dog poop in MY backyard is a higher priority to the Anne Arundle County Health Department?" MmmHmm. That's correct. Am I the ONLY one that sees a problem here? Let's leave it at that. I'll spare you the remaining details. However, know that I am drafting up my letter to the Health Department high-ups as well as the NL. All of which will be sent certified mail so that I have proof that received them, should this crud go any further. So I get off the phone and am SHAKING I am so pissed off, at this point. Do you blame me?

But no... it can't end there. I haven't even had LUNCH, yet!

After watching the inauguration - which was pretty cool, might I add - I decide that it's time to finally shut my stomach up and have some lunch. Since I got to work late, I just ran down to the cafeteria and bought myself a little Stouffers french bread pizza to warm up instead of going out. "Cooking directions: Heat for 1 1/2 mins. in the microwave, then heat for 4 - 6 minutes in the toaster oven at 475." I put it in the microwave. Done. I set the toaster over to 450, because that's as high as it goes, here at work, and then put it in. I really had to pee, so I asked my co-worker, Lulu (not her real name), to pull it out if it starts to smell like it's smokey or something (our Toaster over smells like a forest fire when you warm a friggin pop tart... so it was bound to happen). She agrees and I run of to the little girls' room. Not 2 minutes later I return to Lulu standing in front of the toaster oven, wide-eyed and horrified. "You owe me, Sarah!" Why? What happened?? Here it is... in a nutshell: Not even half-way into it's 4-6 minutes of necessary cooking, the toaster oven starts to stink. So Lulu gets up and grabs some paper towels to help her take out the pizza. She turns it off, gives it a few minutes to cool, and then... after it stops "glowing" (the toaster oven, that is), she starts to pull it out. All was fine, at first. But then suddenly, one of the paper towels start to flicker a bit of a flame. She tried blowing it out (not a good idea, mind you) and the little flame becomes a BIG flame! So she stars calmly 'yelling' "This things on Fire!" She throws it down to keep from being burnt and two guys run over and begin stomping it out. So... not only am I the butt of everyones joke (and probably will be for a few weeks, and then everytime I attempt to cook my food) but there is ALSO a huge burnt piece of carpet on the floor to remind everyone, should that happen to forget.


I was so ready to just go home. But I ended up having an afternoon filled with writing letters to the Health Department and then on my way home, got a call from a girlfriend of mine to come to their house, because that's where McStudly was and we were going to order pizza and hang out. So the evening ended up fantastic. It was the only way to perfectly end such a horribly awful day.








Now... aren't you glad you're not me?

Mr. Moulton

I talked to the Health Department guy again. He didn't even bother going to the house again today. He told me that he talked to the "complainant" and she said "there's only one pile out there" and he informed her that this is not a violation, so there was no point in his even going there.

So I said "Do you think she'll just continue to complain, even if I am cleaning the yard every two to three days?" And he said "Yes - that's the impression I have." So he's not worried about it.


Again we say in a loud and clear voice - there is NO violation! And he said, in reference to her continuing to call, "Don't worry. I will endure."

He's a nice guy, this Mr. Moulton. I cannot, however, say the same about her.





Thank you, Jesus - and Lord... give me strength!

Enough is Enough

This whole thing with my Neighbor has gone far enough.


No. Scratch that - it has gone WAY past "enough" and straight into "completely ridiculous" territory.


I got a call from the Health Department again this morning and it went something like this:


Mr. Moulton (MM): Hello Mrs Puhl, this is Thomas Moulton with the Health Department again. How are you today?

Me: I'm doing alright, how about yourself?

MM: I'm doing well. Hey listen, I had a voicemail waiting for me when I came in this morning, again. Would it be possible for you to just clean up every day, now?

Me: Well, I actually cleaned it up everyday this weekend, but my dog does still have to go again, even after I've cleaned it up. I even cleaned it up yesterday, so there's barely a pile back there from when he went this morning. I am not able to clean it up daily while my husband is away, as my schedule has been pretty crazy, but I do clean it up as soon as I have the chance, so I'm not sure why she's called again.

MM: I understand. That's fine. We will need to come out again and take another look.

Me: That's totally fine. Actually - I'll go ahead and leave what's out there so that you can see what it looks like when she calls and complains. There's barely a pile - I'll call it a pile and a half, because he spreads it around sometimes when he's not done, but that's really all. You are welcome to come and take a look, and pleas feel free to call me at work. The number is... [insert work number here]. I should be at that number in about an hour, and then all day.

MM: Thank you for your help, Mrs. Puhl. There was no violation last time I came out, but I will be taking another look today.

Me: I understand, and if you wouldn't mind also working with the HOA regarding the matter as well...

MM: I've spoken with them, and they've just requested a copy of the report.

Me: Great. Well I look forward to hearing your report later today. And please do let me know if I can help in any way. Again, I do clean up whenever I can, especially since we talked last - it hasn't gone more than 2 days before being cleaned up.

MM: Thank you Mrs. Puhl. I'll give you a call when we've finished the inspection and report.



Well - not very exciting (he's a very enthusiastic man *pretty sarcastic on that one, by the way*), but you get the point. There's no violation, but they are following up again, anyways.

What kind've got me was that he just started with a "Can you just clean it up everyday?" Umm... no. The whole point of the matter is that she's trying to dictate how we handle our backyard. It doesn't work that way. We are homeowners. She can't dictate to us, just as we can't dictate to her, what is done in OUR property.

This has gone far enough. She's gotten smart enough not to say anything to me, but if I know her like I think I do, she won't be able to keep her mouth shut long enough. And you'd better believe that the next time she says anything to me, she'll get not only a piece of my mind, but a nice visit from the police for harassment. It may sound something like this:


Neighbor Lady (NL): Blah blah blah

Me (M): You know, you are being very silly about this whole matter. And I'm not tolerating this any longer. I've been patient with you and tried my best to be a good neighbor, but it's just not enough for you. We will not be pushed and bullied around. We live here now, and we will be living here for a long time. I don't come and complain to you about everything you do that I don't like, and I CERTAINLY do not call the HOA and the HEALTH department about the things I do not like that happen in your home and in your private backyard. This whole thing has gone far enough and I will not sit back and take it for another minute.

NL: (probably trying to cut me off, though I'll keep talking and not let her stop what I'm saying) blah blah blah... wah wah wah...

M: *walk away, even if she's still talking, and call the police*



Yes. It's very simple. And very short and to the point. But I have had it. I am done. Everyone involved is now tired of the situation. The HOA has no further interest in the matter, beyond keeping things documented, as they have informed her that we are NOT in violation. The Health Department has informed her once already that there has been no violation, and will probably have the same report later today. And they, too, are just tired of the situation.

I don't know who else she can call. She's got nothing. She's been told by ALL of her avenues that she's got nothing. And yet she presses on. I've had it.


I may look young and seem innocent, but when I've had it - stay clear. And that's the point I've reached today. The funny thing is that I'm still having a good day. I laughed when I got off the phone with Mr. Moulton, and I even laughed on the phone with Keri from the HOA. It's still a good day. And it will stay that way because she's got nothing.

But I tell you what - it may be a different story for her, today.


I have a question for you - why are people like this? I mean seriously? Why do people make it their goal in life to make other people miserable?






I'm just SO done with all of this.

Mr. Health Department

Well, just to update you guys - the guy from the Health Department finally called me back. We had all of a 2 - 3 minute conversation, and as it turns out (put on your shocked face, for me witht his one) I'm not in violation of any Anne Arundel County Health Codes.


Blah Blah Blah


Long story short, our suspicions have been confirmed. She's off the wagon, and I'm sitting very comfortably in compliance with HOA and County rules and regulations.




*sigh




Ain't it good to be proved right, sometimes? Wow... it feeld good.

Now this doesn't mean that I'm in the clear. I'm sure she'll try something else, but at least I've been advised in what to do, should that happen again. I'll plan to keep you in-the-know about my crazy Neighbor Lady and this whoel thing hopefully blows over, but for today... let's just rejoice in knowing that things are ok.







WOOOHOOOO!!!!

NL Update

So... either she read my post and took some valium, or my experiment is working.


The Neighbor Lady (NL) won't so much as look at me (which is fine by me, while this whole thing blows over), much less try and talk to me. She hasn't spoken a word to me, or tossed me a glance since our last encounter.


I did, however, come home to a nice business card sticking in my doorway, yesterday, from a man that works for the Health Department... this should be interesting. But alas, I called and he was "out in the field" until this afternoon. I will definitely update you one where THAT conversation should lead.


But before I even got to my stairs, I was greeted by Grace (our 80-year-old, work-out loving old lady OTHER neighbor that sold me girl scout cookies the other day) and a nice hispanic gentleman that didn't speak much English, both standing and waiting for me. (Grace is a special kind of woman, but she's at least nice about it, for the msot part) She introduced me to Francesco (you can't make this stuff up, people), and informed me that he does odd jobs around the area and would be willing to clean up my back yard, becuase "Janet's really been fussing at you about that, lately."


Me: "It's actually all clean. There's nothing back there."

Grace: "Then what's she been fussing at you about?"

Me: "I don't know..." *shrugs shoulders

Francesco: *puzzled look of non-understanding de eengleesh


[slapping my own hand "not nice, Sarah... that was not nice to say!"] You'll have to excuse me, being alone causes me to talk to myself more... even so far as punishing myself for saying mena things... MOVING on...



ANYwho, I'm still waiting to hear back on what the Health Department has to say about my back yard... and while I wait, I'm still mid-experiment.


My sister helped with the idea, really (Thanks, Ape!), and so far, it's seemed to work. Amazingly enough, when she can't SEE the poop, she can't seem to smell it, either. Hmm... interesting...

I have a little "poop jaw", as I like to call it, and I just grab his little piles, when he's done making them, and move them under my deck, into a corner she can't see. When it piles up enough, I will clean it up, but this is REALLY just to prove that there is NO problem with my backyard, except that she can't STAND to lok over into our backyard and see a pile or 2 or 3 (which there is NO law against, mind you).



I will keep you updated along with the progress of the experiment, but so far, so good. HOWEVER, he did have a little... umm... "gooey" pile this morning (I'll spare you too many of the details), and as any dog owner knows, you may as wel not even TRY to pick it up, if you don't have to, until it's nice and... umm... hardened. So - there's a LARGE possibility that she may say something to me this afternoon, but I've already been advised the call the police, should that happen. I just REALLY REALLY hope it doesn't come to that.


*crossing fingers






I think that's enough of an update, for now. For those of you who are squeamish, I apoligize for the gag reflex I've conjured up in you today. I will try to spare you in the future...







Toodles!