April Showers

I almost don't even know where to begin. If I seem a little spotty, please forgive me. My mind is in about 5 gazillion places, right now.

*sigh


So as many of you know, we've been doing some home-remodelling lately. We've hit bump after bump in the road, but things were finally progressing. So imagine, if you will, that we've finally taken about 5 steps forward. Well... now think 8 steps back.


My Husband has been living the "Manly Man" dream in wanting to do things himself. I'm not allowed to do them, but it's not due to any fact other than he just wants to be able to do it. Fine. Whatever. I've got PLENTY of other things to do around the house...


Yesterday, McStudly had plans to install the new light into our bathroom. That's fine, but I couldn't keep myself from worrying - so I called.

Honey, I know you're going to laugh at me, but I just have to say it - please don't forget to turn the breaker off before you install the new light.

*sarcastic silence*

"Babe. Seriously. I'm not stupid."

Okay - that's fine. I just had to say it. Laugh at me if you want, but I feel better.

(end of conversation)



Well, apparently it shouldn't have been... in installing the new light, he ran into a bit of a snag and had to make a home-depot run in order to take care of it. While at the Home Depot, he decided to go ahead and purchase a new shut-off valve for the water supply to our new toilet, since the old one was, well, old and needed to be replaced anyways.

Upon arriving home, he decides to switch jobs and install the new shut-off valve instead. (Some of you probably see what's coming. Unfortunately, I didn't know what he was doing, or I would've said... well... you'll figure it out)

He starts taking off the old valve and SQQWOOOOSSHHSHHHSHHSHHSHHHHHSHHSHHSHHHHHHHH (that's my squirting water impression, for those of you not following).


Apparently, Mr. Manly Man himself forgot to SHUT OFF THE WATER!!! He thought that shutting it off on the shut-off valve... the one he was replacing... would shut all of the water off to that pipe. ???


Natural reaction - he sticks his finger in the pipe. I don't blame him. I would've done the same thing... oh wait... no. No I wouldn't have.


ANYwho - he has his finger in the pipe and calls... My Dad. Mr. fix-it-yourself. Probably the best choice, really. So he finally figures out that he has to take his finger out and go shut off the main water... but he doesn't know where it is.


He runs down to the utility closet... then down to the basement and finds three water lines. Shuts ALL 3 of them off. (again - probably the best choice, at this point) But, by this time it had been probably around 5 minutes since "the incident" started. So you know what that means...


Water - EVERYWHERE!!



So I happen to call, and he answers the phone like this:

"I feel so stupid."

Why? What happened?

"I can't believe I didn't that..."

What? You did what? WHAT HAPPENED??

"Ugh - I feel SO stupid!"

Would you PLEASE tell me what happened?!


As he starts to relive what happened, I BUST out laughing... what else can you do? But then he tells me how bad it is.



As you can imagine, 5 minutes is a LOOONG time to have water BURSTING out of an open pipe. It was ALL over the place... literally.


Bathroom - covered in water





(with the new shut-off valve finally in place)


Bedroom - carpet totally wet and soggy at the door and along the entire wall that meets up with the bathroom



Hallway - carpet completely wet and soggy outside of the bathroom door




*sigh* I wish that was where it ended.


Moving downstairs:

Dining room - water rushing down through the new chandelier, through the fire-sprinkler, ALL over the dining room table, ALL over the carpet





Utilities closet - it's raining men in there

(Sorry - it's a bad pic, I know)


Living Room - let's just say you can see all of the seams of the dry-wall on the ceiling. AND where any screw-holes may have once existed.







(the chandelier and one of the sprinkler heads)


(the cieling where the dining room meets the kitchen)


(the floor next to the utilities closet)



Now, McStudly WAS quick to not only turn off all of the water, but also flip the Main Breaker to the entire house. Than the Lord... I didn't need him getting electrocuted on top of all that had already happened (which was my first concern when he answered the phone the way he did and sounding all delirious).



Our HomeOwner's Insurance will be earning it's keep in the near future, that's for sure. Unfortunately, there's no way it'll be done by... TOMORROW, when his grandparents fly in!! But at least they're not staying with us until Monday evening. We'll have a few more days for clean-up and getting the house livable, again.



I'm just glad it was nice outside. A neighbor's kid ran the dog while we cleaned up and when we checked to make sure we wouldn't get electrocuted, we cut the power back on so I could cook some dinner.

On the plus side - the new light is almost installed int he bathroom, and the new toilet (and shut-off valve!) has been installed. I also got a lot of re-organizing and re-arranging in the spare bedroom while McStudly, a Neighbor Man, and Papa Bear worked.






Oh yeah - AND it looks like I no longer need to mop the bathroom floor!! :-P

It Can Only Get Better From Here

Yesterday...

it has to have been the WORST day I have had in a very VERY long time. Let me sum up:

- woke up with the beginning stages of a migraine
- got to work and realized I had forgotten my badge
- received our BGE bill
- got ANOTHER call from Mr. Health Department
- my lunch caught on FIRE


So... I bet you're wondering why some of these things seemed to bad, and how in the world others actually happened. I'd be happy to oblige for the sake of my blog. :-) Now, I will essplain:


I woke up feeling awful and unable to open my eyes due to the vast amount of sunlight peering through my bedroom windows. For those of you who get migraines, you know that feeling. When you FIRST realize that a migraine is forming - it's like... there's no where to run... unless you enjoy sleeping in your bathtub with all doors shut and blankets stuffed under the doors. And it's not just like waking up with any headache, mind you. It's like waking up with pure agony being birthed in your head. Anywho, McStudly comes upstairs to wake me up (he had mysteriously woken up at like the butt-crack of dawn on his own and with no alarm clock, for some reason) and I send him off to fetch some Excedrin Migraine... the only medicine strong enough to fight off my personal Kryptonite. He does do, and I call in to work to tell them that I'll be late. Thank GOD I work with a soft spoken person, and not someone who answers the phone as loud and perky as my mother does (I love you, Momma Bear, but you know it's true!).

So I wake up about an hour and a half later feeling like I, along with my noble steed, Excedrin, had valiantly defeated my enemy. I get ready and head off to work. Upon turning into the - eh - establishment, I realize that I did not have my badge with me. If any of you know where I work, then you know I can't under ANY circumstances, even enter the parking lot without my badge. So I u-turn and pull into the Visitor's Center to get a temporary badge for the day. There is NO way I am turning around and going home to get it and come ALL the way back. So I go in and tell them I need a new badge. You would have thought that I was THE most IRRESPONSIBLE person on the PLANET! I'll spare you the conversational details and just skip to finally getting my badge and heading into the parking lot where I, amazingly, actually got a spot right in front of my building.

I headed inside and logged onto my computer to find an e-mail McStudly had sent while I was in Georgia this weekend. It was a forward of our BGE bill and HOLY LORD in HEAVEN!!! We only own a town home, mind you. Not even a large town home - like... a two story, two-bedroom town home. So then HOW, might I ask, is it even POSSIBLE for our bill to be well over $400??? Yeah... I didn't think it was possible, either. Especially since we just had BGE install our programmable thermostat last month. Here we thought we'd be cutting that bill in - like - HALF! Guess we were wrong on that one... (and don't worry, we've already cut our temperature down into like the low 62 degree range, after receiving this bill! Who needs anything more than blankets, right?)

I check my voicemail and, I should've known, Mr. Moulton's voice comes on, asking me to give him a call. Oy. I should've just gone home, then. So I call Mr. Moulton and he picks up right away. He informs me that they've received another complaint from Neighbor Lady (NL) and that we are now "required" to clean up our dog's poop every two days. Just FYI - we clean it up weekly. He goes one to sometimes two times a day. It's really not that much. But now, because they've received regular complaints over the same issue, though we've never ONCE been in violation of any HOA or County Health Codes, he has had to issue us a pre-citation. Now, a pre-citation has nothing to do with whether or not a violation has occurred, according to Mr. Moulton. But instead, it is the next step in dealing with a constant and regular complaint. Here's where I just let it all out. Now, I know that he is just doing is job. But after dealing with this huge load of crap (pun not originally intended, but left in for good measure) for the 4 and a half months that we've lived in our home, I think a good dose of sarcasm is long overdue. Fortunately for me, he doesn't really pick up on that kind of thing. So I'm laying it on PRETTY thick. "So let me get this straight, if I may... you have no regulations regarding cigarette smoke and it's affect on neighbors, however because she has to look at my dog's poop there's a 'health' concern?" Yes ma'am. That's correct. "Okay, so even though I can get LUNG cancer because she smokes about a pack-a-day in front of my house and her just having to LOOK at dog poop in MY backyard is a higher priority to the Anne Arundle County Health Department?" MmmHmm. That's correct. Am I the ONLY one that sees a problem here? Let's leave it at that. I'll spare you the remaining details. However, know that I am drafting up my letter to the Health Department high-ups as well as the NL. All of which will be sent certified mail so that I have proof that received them, should this crud go any further. So I get off the phone and am SHAKING I am so pissed off, at this point. Do you blame me?

But no... it can't end there. I haven't even had LUNCH, yet!

After watching the inauguration - which was pretty cool, might I add - I decide that it's time to finally shut my stomach up and have some lunch. Since I got to work late, I just ran down to the cafeteria and bought myself a little Stouffers french bread pizza to warm up instead of going out. "Cooking directions: Heat for 1 1/2 mins. in the microwave, then heat for 4 - 6 minutes in the toaster oven at 475." I put it in the microwave. Done. I set the toaster over to 450, because that's as high as it goes, here at work, and then put it in. I really had to pee, so I asked my co-worker, Lulu (not her real name), to pull it out if it starts to smell like it's smokey or something (our Toaster over smells like a forest fire when you warm a friggin pop tart... so it was bound to happen). She agrees and I run of to the little girls' room. Not 2 minutes later I return to Lulu standing in front of the toaster oven, wide-eyed and horrified. "You owe me, Sarah!" Why? What happened?? Here it is... in a nutshell: Not even half-way into it's 4-6 minutes of necessary cooking, the toaster oven starts to stink. So Lulu gets up and grabs some paper towels to help her take out the pizza. She turns it off, gives it a few minutes to cool, and then... after it stops "glowing" (the toaster oven, that is), she starts to pull it out. All was fine, at first. But then suddenly, one of the paper towels start to flicker a bit of a flame. She tried blowing it out (not a good idea, mind you) and the little flame becomes a BIG flame! So she stars calmly 'yelling' "This things on Fire!" She throws it down to keep from being burnt and two guys run over and begin stomping it out. So... not only am I the butt of everyones joke (and probably will be for a few weeks, and then everytime I attempt to cook my food) but there is ALSO a huge burnt piece of carpet on the floor to remind everyone, should that happen to forget.


I was so ready to just go home. But I ended up having an afternoon filled with writing letters to the Health Department and then on my way home, got a call from a girlfriend of mine to come to their house, because that's where McStudly was and we were going to order pizza and hang out. So the evening ended up fantastic. It was the only way to perfectly end such a horribly awful day.








Now... aren't you glad you're not me?