Friday, October 3, 2008

The World May Never Know...

But I am DYING to hear what you think.

Several friends of mine went to the New Kids On The Block (NKOTB) concert last night, and I'm super jealous. But there's something that has been bothering me EVEN more than wondering why Joey wore skinny jeans all night...

If you've ever been to a boy band concert of any kind, or have had friends that have gone to such a concert, then you'll know exactly what I'm talking about before I even finish typing the word (though it is only a three letter word, people... let's just see, shall we?).

Am I really going to say it? Yes... yes I am...

I'm talking about the infamous Bra throwers.

Oh I went there, alright. I'm talking about those females that are SO ecstatic to be at the concert, that they just can't handle all that support and confinement. So they just RIP 'em off and toss them on stage.

This not only concerns me, but it leads me to several very thought-provoking questions:

First let's address the main issue of "WHAT in the WORLD are they THINKING?!?!" I mean seriously. Do they think that Donny is going to see their particular bra come flying in slow motion onto the stage... stop mid-song... pick it up and have a Cinderella moment? "The girl that this bra most perfectly fits - yes - that will be my dream girl!" I mean seriously, people. Why? Why in the name of the Father, Son, and all that is sacred and Holy in this world... WHY?!

My next question (and I really do need an answer to this one as it may keep me up at night, so please share if you have one) is this: do you bring a spare "throw" bra, like the spare bouquets you toss at a wedding reception? Or do you just spontaneously get bit by the "hang loose" bug and decide to take off the bra you are actually currently wearing and just fling 'er on up? On that note - what if you are wearing something a little too tight? Do you actually take the time to walk to the bathroom to take it off, or do you take a "no holds barred" approach and just rip the shirt off, take the bra off, and shimmy the shirt back on all in one fluid motion? Are you drunk when you do this? Do you make it home, sober up a bit, and suddenly realize that you've been just floppin' away the entire ride home? I must know the answers to these questions...

But the biggest question still remains. What DO they do with all of those bras after the concert is over?

I'm sure that the answer must vary, depending on which boy band is on the receiving end, but let's just keep it vague and not name one, shall we? Here's what I've come up with as possibilities for the after-bra:

1 - The boy-banders each pick a favorite to add to the tour bus's "wall-o-bra". Boy-bander number 1 says "Ooh, this pink lacey C-cup is really nice. I think I'll keep it." But there's always got to be one boy-bander that gets the last of the pickins (and I bet it's someone that sings harmony all the time, and never gets a solo... eh, Lance Bass? Not that you ever cared much for bras, but at the time... you didn't want to be exposed in your closet, am I right?! So naturally you just took the bra that no one would fight you for.), and is left with the little impressionable girl's training bra. She saw the big girls do it, and jut had to jump in... no one will notice she joined them, as she probably didn't need to wear it in the first place. But she did. And now it's on the wall-o-bra until the next concert. Her mother would be proud.

2 - There are designated "bra baggers" that get to attend the concert for free, if they'll stick around long enough post concert to pick up the bras and put them all in a bag. It's not the most exciting job, and definitely not the most desired (then again... looking at the kind of perv-guys around these days, they're probably requiring applications for the position, and sorting through the over/underqualified), but hey - if it means free tickets to a good concert, who wouldn't want the gig?

So we're going to go with #2 on this one and move on to the next question... what happens to all of the bras, post bagger-collection?

a - They are trashed... just thrown away. I mean, who wants a bunch of teen bras thrown away at a concert? They're obviously not gonna be "Victoria Secret" quality brassieres, or they would NOT have been thrown out so quickly (those suckers are a good $50! Who in their right MIND would toss it away if it was still good??).

b - They give back. You know how you stroll up to goodwill, and find tons and tons of bras hanging in that really small random "underoos" section? I tend to think those are concert bras. I mean... they were good enough to be put on before the concert, right? So they can't be too bad. Why not give someone more appreciative of the support a chance to love them. I bet they'll never be thrown onto a concert stage again - no - not by these folks, because these folks appreciate a good bargain... and good support.

c - (my personal favorite) All bras are collected and taken to the "Post-Concert Bra Collection booth". It's kind've like the red-headed step-child of all of the booths. While everyone is fighting over that last baby-blue, overpriced, fitted backstreet boys t-shirt, the shamed walk quietly, head down, over to the other side of the arena to collect their bra. It's the walk of shame. They feel the scarlet letter "A" being burned into their backs as they shamefully point to "that one" and wondering where their dignity temporarily ran off to during their earlier moment of weakness. I imagine being in charge of said booth, and would just LOVE it if it went something like this:

Ashamed Bra-thrower (AB): *walking slumped over up to booth-front* "That's my bra, right there." (pointing)

Me (M): "*somewhat loudly* "Oh... you mean this bra?"

AB: *embarrassed by my raised voice* "Yes... yes that's mine"

M: *grabbing bra and holding behind back... talking louder still* "Please describe this bra to me so that I know for sure that you're the owner"

AB: *mumbling softly* "It's white and lacey with red hearts all over it"

M: "I'm sorry, what? I couldn't quite hear you."

AB: *louder, yet still embarrassed* "I said, it's white and lacey, with red hearts all over it."

M: *almost yelling now* "So YOU threw your WHITE LACEY bra with hearts all over it onto the concert stage this evening???"

AB: "YES! Now can I PLEASE have it back?" *very ticked off, now*

M: *now very professional and quiet* "Thank you, ma'am, and have a nice day!"

Okay - that seemed a bit drawn out, but it was HILARIOUS in my head (not so much for the Ashamed Bra-thrower, though... she's not laughing. But more-so for me.).

But back on topic - I'm DYING to know what you think. Have you witnessed this bra-throwing? Have you participated (feel free to admit so anonymously)? What do YOU think happens to said bras post-concert?

Research material (just for giggles):
- Kenny doesn't know what to do with a bra thrown on stage during his concert.
- This girl is a retriever.
- My Chemical Romance gets some lovin', too.

PS - sorry, Lance. No hard feelings, right buddy?!


April E. :) said...

haha OH poor Lancey...he always was my 2nd favorite...*after Justin that is!*

Ashley said...

Oh Sarah I do enjoy reading your post lol. I really do wonder though what they do with all those bras....I bet the janitor takes them home and sniffs them. HAHAHA im sorry I had to say it.

- Sarah :-) said...

eeww... you're so gross. ha ha ha - I should've known you'd go there.