SURPRISE!!

This just makes me giggle everytime... minus the weirdo that;s talking at the end. :-D

Who'd-a-Thunk?!

(click to enlarge, if you can't read it like it is)

Any takers? Ha ha ha...

Maybe this'll come in handy when McStudly is deployed? :-P

I [heart] The Hinkins!

I've been meaning to post on this for several weeks, now, and I just kept getting sidetracked. But here we go -

Is anyone else a HUGE fan of "Here Come The Newlyweds"? Because I am... totally. McStudly and I watch it EVERY week. We usually DVR it and watch it on Tuesdays. It's so fun! Plus, could you imagine getting to spend up to 2 months at this amazing mansion of a place they are staying in, and just get to relax together and go through a few challenges along the way? Talk about a great way to spend time together!

Our favorite couple?! Well...

We [heart] the Hinkins. Seriously. They are so stinking cute... they communicate really well, together, and have won at least 2 of the challenges, deciding BOTH times to stay and keep their immunity each time, rather than taking the $15K and then $25K that was offered to them in exchange.

I can't even imagine holding that much money at one time, but they did it! It's pretty good times, this show. I'm loving it for sure.

The Hinkins are adorable for many reasons, but our favorites are that they were Virgins when they got married, and get this: after checking-in at their Honeymoon Hotel, they discovered that it was a clothing option resort! HA HA HA!! They had just days before seen each other naked for the first time, and now they were surrounded by topless people. How hilarious is that?! Talk about an awkward honeymoon, eh?

Well, they are this adorable Mormon couple that we think are totally going to win the entire thing. We were FLOORED last night that they were voted into the bottom two couples, but in all honesty - we think they were put there because people are afraid of the competition. I mean... that's a great strategy, don't get me wrong, but we weer SO glad that they stayed!!

Anywho - that's our take on it. If you get the chance, you should tune in on Monday nights and watch it with us. The challenges are a blast and McStudly and I try to see how well we think we'd do in the same challenges, if we were given the chance. I'd LOVE to go there with him!!

Who wouldn't? :-D

Oh Yeah

I almost forgot!! By now, I'm sure some of you are aware of McStudly and his... interesting take on things. He's a riot, this man. I love him to pieces, really!

Last night as we were in bed, he had me ROLLING! He had said something *cough* about my silhouette as I was putting my pajamas on in the dark (movingrightalong), and then he starting singing...


McS: (singing-ish?) "It'sa silhouettah duh tah duh..."

Umm... what are you singing?

McS: "It'sa silhouettah duh tah duh!"

(poorly controlling my laughter) Oh... is that supposed to be the Queen song?

McS: Yes. (singin again) "It'sa silhouettah duh tah duh..."

(Laughing harder) You're kidding, right?!

McS: No - that's how it goes. Trust me... I know.

(almost in hysterics) One more time... what is it again?

McS: (singing) "It'sa silhouettah duh tah duh..."

What are the words you're singing? Can you just say them?

McS: "It's... a... silhouettah... ... (hesitating) ... ... duhtahduh!" Why? What do you think it is? (my favorite part was how he waved his hand around for the "duhtahduh" part. It just added to the moment, really.)

I dunno... maybe "I see a little silhouettah of a man..."? (laughing, because I know most of the song, though I'm not sure if I should be proud of that or not)

McS: No. No, babe. That's definitely not it.





Oh my he's got to be the funniest person I know, sometimes.

*sigh*

Light as a Feather

Yesterday's post was pretty heavy, especially for someone returning from vacation!! So just to lighten things up a bit, take a gander at these little snafus.

Poor little old ladies who type the church bulletin - they're so naive... or are they?! The below statements were found in church bulletins or announced from the pulpit. And boy I would've LOVED to have been there for it!



The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
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Our youth basket ball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: " I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours!




Ha ha ha - good stuff, eh?!

MHR Friday

have I ever mentioned that McStudly rocks? Yeah. I'm pretty sure I have, but in case you were wondering why...

It's because he know show to have fun and make me laugh. The longer we've known each other and the longer we've been married, the more he's opened up and been vulnerable around me. And he's gotten so goofy at times (shh! it's a secret) and I LOVE it!

Baby - thanks for making me smile and see more of you every day. I love you!!

143.

Happy Belated Mothers' Day

Momma Bear sent this to me today, and it made me laugh. I've seen it before, but she was right - it never gets old! So I just thought I'd post and share this with you guys.

Well, that's that. I hope you got a good laugh out of it. I know I did - and hopefully you guys had a wonderful Mothers' Day!

A Much Needed Laugh

For all of you Chik-fil-a lovers out there... please enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsJHqstPuNo




Don't forget to leave a comment and tell us what you thought!

An Irish Blonde in a Casino

Just a little St. Patty's Day humor for you guys. Enjoy a good laugh!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice. Then she said,

'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude'.

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, 'Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!'

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed...'YES!YES!I WON, I WON!' She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, 'What did she roll?' The other answered, 'I don't know - I thought you were watching.'


MORAL OF THE STORY -
Not all Irish are drunks,
not all blondes are dumb,
but all men...are men.

Comfort Stalls

I was just thinking about something and it made me laugh. We are SUCH creatures of habit, aren't we? And though there are probably hundreds of thousands of examples of this fact, I just reminded myself of one as I went to the bathroom here at work.

Is it just me, or don't we all have a "usual" bathroom stall that we use? You KNOW that you do it, too. I mean sure, we can use any of the stalls that are available, barring them being completely nasty and un-flushed, that is. But we still tend to gravitate towards the same stall.

It's funny because anytime we walk into the bathroom and our one stall is occupied, it kind've stops us in our tracks for a brief second, doesn't it? We're on such autopilot that we practicaly walk into the bathroom without even looking up, but then are stopped at the sight of our stall's door closed in front of us.


Ha ha - it's just funny to me. Of course we shrug it off and move on to the cleanest stall closest to it, but just the fact that we always go the 3rd stall in (or whichever is your stall of choice) and then leave this "comfort stall" and proceed to the same particular sink everytime... it's just funny! Right?




Am I the only one with a comfort stall??

MHR fricka-fricka-Fridays!!

...because he took me to lunch today (literally - picked me up and everything!) and let me vent my frustrations from my morning at work. AND when I got back to work, and my frustrations reappeared, he listened attentively on the phone as I dished them out, again.

*sigh

He's so dreamy!

Oats and Canola Oil

Last night was the Fusion Christmas party. It was a good time.

Well... it was at least "interesting". That I can honestly say...


No really, it was fun. But I have to say that my least favorite part probably would have to be sponge bathing in the church bathroom while soaking my unmentionables in the sink next to me.


Let's recap.


Apparently, in order to show your "love" for your small group leader (notice I used caps... I felt loved, but I have a hard time believe that the other two leaders felt loved with the way their small groups went near-homicidal on them), you have to completely cover them in... well... seemingly anything that the youth pastor could grab from the church's pantry.

We played a game called the "Christmas 12 Days of Doom". If I could remember all of the actual items, and in order, I'm sure it would be SO much more fun... but alas, I was a bit distracted as I was being lathered in Maple Syrup.


What I can remember:

- We were told to come on stage as they brought in the tarps (Tarps? Never a good sign at a youth event!)

- Then, we were each assigned our very on kiddy-pool. Here I was thinking 'Hey, maybe they're going to re-enact a beach getaway for us, since it's so stinking butt-cold outside! How thoughtful... I really DO feel loved!' ... so I got cozy.

- In came the table... on the table sat 3 bins, but the three bins were covered by a big black cloth. (again - this is not usually a good sign)

- They started singing... and it all started with a box of Betty Crocker Cake Mix. Why were they name specific? I think it was to ensure that we knew they weren't going cheap and just dumping the Richfood brand of cake mix over our heads... oh no! They went WORLD class, splurged, and bought the name brand stuff. Because, after all, they loved us.

- Then came the two "things" canola oil (so shoot me I don't know what carton-thingies are called). Were they going to bake me in a 350 degree oven at the end? Well, there's no way to know. But I started-a-mixin' just in case. I was NOT going to be the leader that tasted the worst. If I was going out - I was going out tasty, my friends!

- and out came the whipped cream. At this point, I was BEGGING and PLEADING my girls not to put this gunk on my hair... "I'll bring you SOO much candy next week! SOO much candy! What do you want?! I'll totally bring it for you..." Yes, it was low. Don't judge me. You know you would've done the same thing. And unfortunately for the guys (the other two leader that were sentenced selected for the "activity") weren't with it enough to try... plus they didn't have NEARLY as much hair as I did... it only seemed fair.

- As I'm sitting and happily eating the mixture that has thus far been poured over my shoulders and a little bit down my shirt... loving the whipped cream... out comes the nastiest piece of the puzzle. From this point forward, I looked like I was the closest trash can to the tilt-a-whirl after a ride mis-hap caused everyone aboard to get a tad bit nauseous. What was this awful mess of an "ingredient"? Pork & beans. I know... totally gross, right? *mini-gag*

- After this point, it's all quite a bit fuzzy. I remember ketchup (which made the whole thing look more like a murder scene than a youth group "love" fest).

- I know somewhere in there were bags of popcorn. I tried to catch it in my mouth, but ended up gagging on a kernel and then spitting it all back out onto myself. I'm thinking I just made it worse on myself... but at least it was tasty?!

- Applesauce! I was smart enough to not put my hands into the "mixture" since the whipped cream, so I caught a few things of applesauce and had a bit of a snack. Hey - a girl's gotta eat, right?!

- Maple Syrup. I hear it takes DAYS to get this funk out of your hair. I'm SO glad I had some awesome girls doing this ... whatever it was to me. They were very gentle. *sigh*

- Oats. Alone? Probably not too shabby. But mixed with all of the above ingredients? Including Maple Syrup? Yeah... it got REALLY "icky" here... so I start making some oatmeal cookies for the friendly girls of mine. I'm not so sure why they didn't want them. I guess they were full from all of the free cookies and hot cocoa we handed out before service.

- Speaking of which... hot cocoa (powder only) was in there somewhere, too. Not so sure where... but it was there... and again - this mixture was just so nasty! Have I mentioned that I was SITTING in this gross-ness?

- Cornmeal. I think this was added earlier on, but it was FAR from the worst of the food items I had to swim in last night!

- and finally (and I mean finally!), they added the dozen eggs. In reality this wasn't as bad as it sounds. They slid RIGHT off of me (I actually had this awkward little puddle of eggs inside my indian-crossed legs - slightly inappropriate, right? Again - don't judge me). The worst part about this stuff?? It was FREEZING!!! Tell me... why do you feel that you must refrigerate the eggs that you are planning to pour over your leaders? Were you worried about them going bad?! Let's re-evaluate this decision. Ponder on where they were destined to end up... and now let's think again... did they need to be refrigerated? You people are cruel. JUST cruel!


SO there we have it. It was a pretty good time - up until they were finished with us, that is. I was whisked away (almost literally, since they had me lay on a tarp and then drug me to the bathroom) to clean myself up. And folks, this was NO easy task.

Sponge bathing in general doesn't seem like a very pleasant thing to do. Now add the setting of a church bathroom with no locks on the door and NO more than just a few little sinks. Yeah. Nice, right? At least the water was warm last night, because it's usually like liquid ice when you turn the faucet on.

Thankfully one of the other lady leaders stood guard to make sure that the door was not opened for ANY reason WHATsoever! And she did a great job. I stripped down as quickly as possible (which isn't very quick at all when you are covered in maple syrup and ketchup and trying to avoid getting it all in your hair and all over the bathroom floor) and put my unmentionables into the left sink to soak, in hopes of removing the strong smell of nastiness enough to be able to wear them home.

As I stand in the church bathroom buck-friggin-naked and trying to scrub this... pukey mixture off of myself, I realized just how little my clothes spared my body. I found gooey cake-mix caked (pun not originally intended) in places I didn't know it would ever be. I scrubbed and scrubbed, stretched my feet up into the sink to clean the funk off of them, and then finally felt as though I'd gotten as much as I could. Good golly, miss molly, that took forever!


I emerged from my whole in the bathroom to find that not only had service ended, by this time, but I also discovered that apparently in the boy's bathroom, there was a janitor's closet. Yes, folks - the guys had a nice little drain and I do believe a hose as well in order to wash off.


Fannntastic.


Ah well. At least I still had my blinky-Christmas hat. Wait... where IS my blinky Christmas hat?! OH NO!!!


Thankfully, the girl I had given it to entrusting it's safe-keeping had left it with another girl that was hanging around for a bit. It was returned safely to me just after we took our leader's group picture. Whew! That was close!!


So after being practically attacked my a nose-strong dog, last night, having him somehow manage to drag my funktified clothing over onto the carpet, leaving a trail of nasty-goodness behind him, and FINALLY getting to take a REAL shower, I felt clean and normal again.



...well, as relatively normal as I was before this whole thing, anyways... which isn't really saying much.



Good times were had by most. I stop short of saying all, but only due to the fact that I do believe that the middle school boy sitting in front of my was just shy of having a coronary over the fact that they just wouldn't put it in my hair and the high school boys were, from a distance of course, quite nearly as displeased at the "unfair"ness of the situation. Silly boys... if only you KNEW - I do believe you would've left well-enough alone.





And even better times, still, will be had next week by my girls when they embark on their MUCH earned sugary appreciation celebration. I'm sure you'll have some pretty good times, too, once I get my hands on some pictures to post from the incident... I bet you can't HANDLE your excitement!!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


PS: The only warning I was given of what was to come was an e-mail that said "bring a change of clothes that you can get messy". Am I the only one that thinks that this doesnt' even remotely prepare one for what is coming? I would've brought another pair of unmentionables, at LEAST!! *sigh*

All Dogs Go to Heaven

And I'm not talking about the movie (as great and timeless as it will always be...).


There are two churches along a busy street. One on each side, and they are facing each other. Two completely different denominations. Two different opinions. One very public battle of the church signs. Check it out:

Ha ha ha... good times. You have to have a sense of humor with stuff like this. I mean really.

Foot In Mouth Disease

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - the last one is great!

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back? Or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did:


FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly,

'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?'

I turned around and walked back out and never went back.

My husband didn't say a word...he knew better.


SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.

Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls'


THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.

I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'

My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.


FOURTH TESTIMONY :

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be punished.

To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,

'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.


FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.

One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying m y taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. Then realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.

I asked him if he needed to go, and he said 'No'. I kept thinking 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.' Then I said,'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?' 'No,' he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, 'Danny did you have an accident?'

This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled 'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!'

While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better,thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!


LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any -

We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:

'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'

Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!





Oh my word... I've been there SO many times! (to those of you that weren't there, 'How would you punish your pet monkey if he misbehaved?')