Wednesday, December 3, 2008

I think I need a trim.


So I've been working on a song that's really been weighing heavy on me lately. But I'm WAY terrified to show it to anyone. I'm WAY over-critical of it and totally stabbing the life out of it.

I've written songs for years, now (something that, up until recently, most - if not all - of the people around me never knew), but I always come up with an excuse not to finish them or to put them away and not ever go back to them.

But then tell me why I still find myself singing them when I'm alone, sometimes... yeah... because I'm not fulfilling the whole idea of it.

There's a reason I am good with words and have a musical ear, right? But I'm just spitting in the sand and kicking rocks, all the while saying I'm not good enough to do it, or it's just too far out of my comfort zone.

Why won't I just get up off my butt and get real - this isn't about me. It never is. It never was!

I've been learning a lot, lately, and most of it is about what I'm doing wrong and what I've got to change. Honestly? That's what I need... I think we convince ourselves all the time 'ya know - We're doing alright. We're good people. We have good intentions. We're compassionate.'

That's not the point, though. That's what every Christian is to strive for. What in the world does that have to do with your individual purpose? Absolutely nothing.

So why do we just pacify ourselves with that? We're so alright just to lie to ourselves and live a simple little hunky-dory life that we totally miss the point.

This is about the second serious post I've posted in a row, but I am just there, right now, ya know? I am learning a lot, and finding out that all this time I've been putting down roots where they're not going to grow. It may hurt to pull them back up, but isn't that the point?

Through all of this, I've come to a sort of conclusion: I think I need a trim...

We've all heard about how we're supposed to bear fruit and how, in order for a vine to truly grow, it has to be pruned. Well, do you think pruning feels good? I submit that it does not!! (Just a little Brian Reagan for you. I needed to de-seriousify this post a bit ... and yes I'm well aware that "de-seriousify" is not a word, but who's counting?!)

In fact, a plant will actually die if you don't prune it. That's true. Go ahead and look it up. Check me - don't just take my word for it (not a good habit, people... don't just believe everything you hear).

I don't know about you, but I don't want to be some dead plant just taking up space and wasting away. Hence my need to pruning - I just need a little trim. You?

It's your turn - Where do you need to be pruned?


April E. :) said...

I was waiting for you to put one of your songs on the post....hmmm

- Sarah :-) said...

Nah, man - they're all works in progress. So now I just need to work on finishing them since I put them off for so long!

James Wilson said...

Do you have a time set aside for journaling and the like? The best way to write is just to write! Make a commitment to yourself to sit down for 5 minutes a day and work on existing songs or new one(s). Then it'll just grow from there! Good luck!

James Wilson said...

Oh, and:
"Don't worry 'bout it's not good enough
For anyone else to hear...
Just Sing, Sing a song!
La la la la la, La la la la la la, La la la la la la laaaaaa"