Worry Warts

I recently wrote an article for our Women's Ministry eNewsletter. Just wanted to share it with you guys, as well.


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“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 29:11


As women, we worry a lot. In fact, some of us could make a pretty successful career out of it. For the most part, we think we have a pretty good reason to worry. We feel justified and call it “concern.” Justified or not, concerned or not – the fact is we let it consume us to the point of constant worrying.

We worry about every aspect of our lives. We worry about our husbands, kids, and home. We worry about our cars, jobs, and finances. We worry about our hair, wardrobe, and weight. Ultimately, worry about our past, present, and future. Why do we do this to ourselves? We were created to be caring and nurturing, but somehow we’ve turned it into controlling and worrying about anything and everything.

Take another look at that list. What do you notice? It’s all about possession. They’re my kids – I’m supposed to worry about them. He’s my husband… It’s my house… It’s my future… But ladies, Psalms 100:3 says “Know that the LORD is God. It is He who made us, and we are His; we are His people, the sheep of His pasture.” [emphasis added] By allowing ourselves to worry about all of these things, we’re claiming them as our own. When we cling so closely to those things in our lives that feel so important, we’re not allowing God, in his sovereignty, to hold them close. We regularly say we trust Him. We sing songs about how we’ve given our lives to Him – our whole lives – and yet, within ourselves, we find it necessary to hold on to bits and pieces that we feel most connected to or responsible for.

These things that we care about most; these people that we care about the most – we’re picking them up as if we are a small child that thinks it’s strong enough to carry something heavy by itself. And just as that child pulls away when you try to help, we’re pulling ourselves farther from God, and saying, “God, I know You’re good and perfect. I know You created them with Your own hands, but I can do it. I can take it from here.” And God, in his gentleness, let’s us try. We struggle, grunt, and strain to do it on our own, but ultimately we’re not successful. So we worry.

Other than a headache and countless other health problems, excessive worrying gets us no where. Matthew 6:27 says “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” There is no benefit associated with worry. Not one.

Each time we worry, we’re turning our back on the God who loves us. Instead of entrusting him with every ounce of our lives, we’re taking the reins. We’re so consumed with “possibilities” and “maybes” and the thought of “what if” that we have caused ourselves to sin. We’re sinning when we’re focusing on these things rather than God, just as an adulterer turns her attention on her lover, rather than her groom. That sin then pulls us even farther from God and, before we realize what has happened, we’re caught in this deep pit of worry.

Even in that moment… in that pit, God, in His mercy, loves us still. He doesn’t just leave us there to figure things out, but He picks us up, dusts us off, and tells us to cast our cares onto Him. Not only does He forgive us for worrying, but He actually offers to carry the load FOR us! Psalms 55:22 says “Cast your cares on the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.” When we do that, the worries, the concerns, the anxieties no longer weigh us down, and we’re free to live the life he’s designed for us.

The next time you feel overwhelmed with concern or find yourself worrying excessively, remember that He has a plan and a purpose for you. He’s on your side! He won’t harm you, but has promised you hope and a future. And at the end of the day, he’s the only one who knows what it is, so why bother worrying about it when the very creator of our existence is waiting, arms opened to us, and willing to have us walk through it together.

Busy Busy Bee

I am 24 years old, now, and have never been stung by a bee... well... up until one night about 2 weeks ago, anyways. :-(

I got home from work a bit later than planned, and we rushed around to get everything together and get Austin ready so that we could head up to the Fort for the game. The plan was to get there early so that he could warm up with everyone and be ready for the start of the game.

Yeah.

That didn't exactly happen.

We got on the road (finally!), and got stuck in traffic. In order to avoid even just a little bit of stress, we turned down a back road to skip some of the traffic. We were almost at the end of the road when we realized that Studly didn't have his ID with him... didn't have any ID with him. So we turned around and headed back towards the house to get his ID.

When we'd finally got the ID, we turned back towards the Fort and took the back road again to avoid some of the traffic, and save a bit of sanity. Time was ticking and we were getting closer and closer to game time, yet we hadn't even made it on base!

We finally see the gate, turn in, and are quickly turned away. In our haste to make it to the field in time, we had turned in to the closest entrance... but didn't consider the fact that my car didn't have base stickers. Boo!

So around we went to get through inspection and hustle it on over to the field...

But wait...

What field are we on?

We drove in circles, already having missed the start of the game... the dog was whining, the husband was stressed, and this wife was going crazy!

We finally spotted the field and McStudly hopped out to get over there ASAP. I went on and parked, got the dog out, and got all of the "shtuff" together before beginning the long awkward hike to the bleachers.

At this point, I felt like I could at least take a deep breath. We'd made it. Studly's head was in the game, the dog was out of the car and no longer whining, and we were finally good to go for another couple of hours. With Austin in hand, we crossed through the tall grass area and were finishing our little trek across the grassy knoll, dotted with spots of dandelion weeds. All the while we were walking, I was thinking about how I'd have to check the pup for ticks, later, because of those long weeds we'd walked through.

oww...

Ouch...

OOOOOOUUUUUCCCCHHHHHH!!!!!!

WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!?!

Oww OWW OOOOWWWWW!!!!!

In that split second between feeling a little prick on the arch of my foot, and getting my hand to that area to wipe away what I thought would be a stick or something that was poking me sharply, the pain intensified immensely!! It was only a split second! I mean... what the dilly?! What the HECK kind of devil stick is this?!

It wasn't a devil stick. Well, devil seems fitting, but definitely not a stick.

...stupid little bee...

In the time that it took to blink while turning my head down to my foot, and also while reaching my hand down to wipe away the devil stick (all in less than a second), my hand touched the spastic wings of the stupid little devil bee before my eyes did and I FLUNG it off my foot!

Totally freaked out, now!!

Well, I hobbled over to the bleachers, which were still a good 100ft away from where "it" happened, and stretched out the hand that was holding Austin's leash...

"Hi, umm... can you hold my dog?!" Poor stranger was nice enough, though. He took his leash and watched him while I examined my now gimpy foot.

Poor little lefty. *sniff sniff

Sure enough, I had been stung right on the arch of my foot. I'm still not really sure how it happened, but it did. And at that moment, all that mattered was knowing that the little devil bee that had stung innocent ol' me was now dead. (I promise I'm not a violent person... but I know bees don't have feelings, so I was perfectly fine with the fact that he died for what he did to my foot. And I did NOTHING to him! Grr... yes it was a boy. No sweet little girl bee would do such a thing for no reason!)

So I basically sat there staring at this odd looking target-esque devil marking on my foot trying desperately to breathe deeply and fight back the tears that were welling up behind my oversized brown sunglasses (so thankful I hadn't forgotten them!), all while McStudly had not-a-clue what had been going on.

I got out what I thought was the last bit of the stinger (found out later that I wasn't accurate in that assumption) and used the antibacterial hand sanitizer offered up by another sweet stranger to clean the war-wound and keep it from getting infected. I asked that poor girl so many questions... I had no idea what to do about a bee sting!!

Well, as you can tell I survived. I did make it and now my foot is on it's way to some semblance of "normal". I went to the doctor last week for a follow-up on some other things, and mentioned the bee sting to her. It was super itchy and driving me CRAZY, so she gave me some topical cream that would help drive out the rest of the stinger and relieve the itchy reminder of what that devil bee did to my poor little left foot.

I don't care how cute of a movie they made, those bees are evil little creatures!

Decisions, Decisions

So I've recently been presented with a few decisions that need to be made, and it's forcing me to really evaluate where I am, right now.

For those of you who have read fairly regularly, you know the McStudly and I are really involved in our church. We love it! I really wish, most of the time, that I could get paid to do that instead of working at the full-time job I have (though I do actually enjoy that, as well). Ah well... one can dream, right?!

Anywho, I was recently approached about becoming more (or perhaps just a tad differently and a bit more frequently) involved in one of the areas that I thoroughly enjoy. And in actuality, it was literally a dream come true... as in - I had a dream about it a week or so ago. Crazy, right?! Yeah. I thought so, too. And when this person told me the other night that they had something they wanted to talk to me about, my thoughts went to this dream. Of course, being of the female persuasion and all, my thoughts then quickly went to "am I in trouble?" or "what did I do?!", but I was assured I was not in trouble at all... though I was still a bit anxious about it (who wouldn't be?!).

I said I'd talk to McStudly about it, since it involved more of a time commitment and I"m already pretty spread in several different directions (which actually caused them to almost not ask me at all, because they knew I was so busy. Nice, eh?).

So, basically, I've been thinking about it a lot. Like a LOT lot. I'm not one to believe in these kinds of coincidences as purely random, but more like purposeful. Does that make sense?! Between the dream, and thinking this was what it would be about... and then actually being right. I dunno - call me crazy!


But here's where I struggle. Remember I said I'm already pretty spread in several different directions? Yeah. As in here's what I do on any given week: Sunday morning: church (sometimes both services). Sunday evening: Underground (Young Adults). Monday: free (woohoo!). Tuesday: worship practice. Wednesday: church early for prep and then helping with Fusion (Youth service). Thursday: Pregnancy clinic training. Friday: free (hopefully date-night). Saturday: who knows... cleaning, laundry (yeah right, ha!), sleeping in!!!

I'm not insanely busy, I suppose, but keep in mind that Tuesday - Thursday activities are not including McStudly. He isn't involved int he worship team, or youth, or the pregnancy clinic. So we see each other before and after, but it's kind've like ships passing in the night. Also, there are monthly meetings involved (sometimes multiple) with all of these ministries, so they usually take up another night or two, here and there, so it's ends up being one packed month after another.


I say all of this to get to my point, I suppose. Making this change means that I need to make a sacrifice somewhere else. That's why this isn't a "Well, of course!" kind of a thing, right now.

Sidenote: On top of that, the McStud and I have been having a very... trying week (we all have them - you know where you just keep butting heads and/or missing each other and it's juts rough all around?! Yeah. That kind.), so that hasn't really helped, much.


I really want to do this, but I don't know how I feel about stepping down in the other areas I'm involved in. It's not easy. It's going to take a lot of thought and prayer, as well as discussion with the hubster before a decision is reached.

FYI: in case you're wondering, it's not like I'll be moving to Africa, or anything, so you may think I'm making a bigger deal out of this than I need to (not that you know what it is, or anything), but to me, it's personally a hard decision.


I just feel torn, I guess is the best way to put it. I'm involved in all of these ministries because of various reasons, but mainly because I have a heart to be there. So it's not like I could just drop it like a bad habit and move on to something else, ya know?! It's hard to see something that seems so right just out of your reach, and you have to let go of something else to get to it... sometimes more than one "something else", like in my case - I feel like letting go of just one thing won't really change anything or make extra time or add less stress, but that it would take letting go of two things just for the 1.


Am I babbling? Or hopefully I'm at least making a little teenie bit of sense in here, somewhere?!


Maybe blogging about it is helping me to feel like I'm working things out. Pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard, in this case) can really help me sort out my thoughts, sometimes.


All I know is with all that went before this - the dream, kind've seeing it coming (does it sound bad to say that?! It feels like it sounds really snobby and braggadocios - Ooh... HUGE points for using that word in a blog on a Friday!!), and then actually hearing it. I don't know - call me crazy, but I feel like this is where God wants me. And on top of all that, I've already been trying to stretch myself in this area. I mean... McStudly and I have had many a conversation about it and my trying to better myself and step out of my comfort zone (that could be a whole other blog in itself!), and then this happens. So is it weird of me to think that all of this is playing a part in the bigger picture, somehow? I just can't shake the feeling.


And maybe that's why I feel so compelled to lean in this direction, while knowing that it'll take some sacrifice to get there.


Could that be the point? I trust God. I really do. But am I the only one that still questions things... even the things I really feel that he's leading me towards? What is WRONG with me?!?!


Why do we do this? We hold so tight onto the things that we know. The things that are familiar. the things we're comfortable with... even though we know that God has bigger and better plans for us to move on to.


It's like I know what I need to do, but I worry too much about actually doing it. Or I feel like I'll be letting someone down or putting someone else in a bad spot by stepping down and/or out of the other ministries.


*lightbulb moment*

Hang on a second... is that maybe a form of pride?! Do I somehow, without realizing it, hold myself so highly that I think the other people... the other ministries can't do without me? Ouch. Talk about a public realization of fault, man. I'm discovering, openly, on my blog that I'm dealing with pride in an area I had no idea was there. This blog post is getting heavier and heavier the more I type.

Sidenote: Am I the only one that is doing this? Is there any chance that maybe you guys are dealing with similar forms of pride? I mean... God can do the impossible. We sing it. We say it. We may shout it from time to time. But then there's that dang old box, again, and we think that he can't carry on a ministry without use. Ouch ouch OUCH! Please be honest... I feel like I may be the only one, right now, and that's not making me feel so good. :-(


Wow. I need to deal with that. Like yesterday! And I think that, maybe, I just made my decision. ??


Of course I'll be talking to McStudly about it more (we actually get to SEE each other tonight. Squeea!) and praying about it a little more, but can I ask you a HUGEmongous favor?? Can you all pray for me, too? For both the decision, and now, apparently, my subconscious issues with pride, too?



Gesh... why is humility so difficult that you don't even realize you are missing it, most of the time?! I'm missing the mark and somehow I feel like I'm still shooting straight. Ugh!!



Well, I've carried on long enough, and given you enough of a Serious Pill for this Friday. Hope it wasn't too big to swallow, and that you'll be honest enough with yourself (...and possibly the rest of us?!) to do it. I'm going to go get to work on "fixing" myself. Thank God for his unconditional grace, cause Lord knows I need it!!


Hope you all have a great weekend, and I'd LOVE to hear how you guys feel about what I said. And just so you know, I'm not typically one of those planner kind of bloggers. I really was just figuring this whole thing out as I typed... I'm working on being as genuine as possible (it's part of my pregnancy clinic training), and I feel this might be the best way to keep myself real (it's awfully safe here, behind this computer).



Anywho, take care and I'll catch you on the flipside!






Toodles! :-)

My Food Baby

See? Whatd I tell you?

Pretty ridiculous... And quite a bit painful, at times.

PS: This is not as bad as it can get... "the incident" was a bad day, so imagine it even bigger, if you can.

Normal...

This is about how I typically look on any given day, give-or-take. Stay tuned for the 'food baby' reveal...

Habits

There's been a lot of stuff going on around me, lately. And this time, I'm talking of things OTHER than my home, etc. I mean... within good friends, within family ... it's been quite a few months.

I've learned a few things that I'd like to share with you. Some of it has been told to me and some of it has been realized. It's in no particular order, but all of it is important and relevant.


You can't see the shadow of your own light, for it hides behind the very obstacles you cannot see around. For some of us, these obstacles are obvious... for some of us, they aren't. They can be our pride. They can be our material items. They can be our attitudes and stubbornness. And they can even be our decisions or mistakes. But we all have a tendency to believe we have the best view there is. And from where you're standing, that may be true. The important thing to remember is there's someone else with a view that you don't have - and they may see that dead end around the corner that you can't see from where you are.

Instinct is to think you're fine. You can see perfectly well, from here, and what do they know? Well, often times they know more than you think. You think that your perspective is better because you're been driving down this road of life longer, or because you've been down that turn before. But things change. And the people you think you're "better" than often have some bits of information that you don't have.

1 Timothy 4:12 says "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." Often times, we don't even acknowledge the latter of the verse, because we've already written people due to their age or inexperience... or for simply not being "you".


We often judge others by their words or actions, while judging ourselves by our own intentions. Be honest. You totally do it. We ALL do. Because we know our intentions in certain situations where we can't possibly know someone else's. It's just easier to judge by their actions, isn't it? But that doesn't make it right. It's a really hard habit to break - I'm still catching myself on this one. But it's very important to remember.

Luke 6:41-42 says "41"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 42How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

It's so easy to judge others more harshly than ourselves - this person has an entire PLANK in his eye while he's worried about the little bitty speck in someone else's. Now that's messed up. But it's reality. Again - we all do it. It's just easier than having to pull out a mirror and deal with the pain of "de-planking" ourselves. Because it does hurt. It sucks. It's like throwing soap on a wound. You just avoid it, because no matter how much the wound itself hurts, you KNOW it'll hurt like 50x worse with the soap on it. Sure the soap will make it better and clean it out so it can heal, but it HURTS! Right?!

So we defend ourselves when people do it to us because "I was just trying to help" or "I didn't want it to get worse". But when we're doing it to someone else, it doesn't matter. It's black and white. The gray area that existed when we were the ones being pointed at no longer exists. It doesn't matter because they are wrong, end of story.



Ultimately, I guess I'm learning more and more about how easy it is to look down on people or judge people. But when we do that, we're putting ourselves above them. And then we have a false sense of humility to say that we're just "trying to help".

If you have a place of trust in someone's life, then you can speak into them and encourage them to better themselves. But if you don't, sticking your foot on their head and just starting to yank away will just make them angry, and you'll lose your chance to speak into them at all.



I encourage you guys to, within the coming weeks, evaluate yourself and see where you are. I know I'm gonna have to put a pillow on my rear with all the self-kicking I've done while writing this post, so you're not alone. And it's nobody's business but your own. That's the thing about self-evaluation... it's a private thing. Nobody needs to know your junk, but you will find that there are times when sharing your own junk may help someone with theirs.




Well, I know I'm guilty of it, so I need to go make some changes. If I'm the only one and this all seemed like rambling to you guys, well I apologize. But I think it helps me sometimes to put things in writing, before I see what it all means. Am I the only one that's like that??

Oowweee...

Alright... Who forgot to warn me about the pain that follows learning to play the guitar?



I started messing around last night, after a quick trip to target for a tuner and some picks. It was all fine and dandy until about 20 minutes into it.



I found this website online that, until I can get some lessons or a DVD or something, will teach be basics of guitar play (and it's pretty impressive and easy to follow, too!). It teaches you how to tune your guitar, what all the parts are called, the proper way to hold it, and then the musical stuff.




So this is a little bit of what I learned last night:


- The strings on the guitar are E-A-D-G-B-E (which I'll remember by thinking eat all day, get big easy).
- Each fret raised the pitch of the string by a half step.
- When tuning, tightening the string raises the pitch, while loosening it lowers the pitch.
- Playing a string, while not touching any part of it is called playing the string "open".




And the biggest thing that I learned last night about playing the guitar? It's SO not as easy as it looks. So the tips of about 3 of my fingers are pretty much hurting, today. But ya know what? I think it'll be worth it. Apparently my fingers will eventually start to callous up and not hurt so much. And hopefully by then I'll have at least mastered my first chord!!


So it's not coming as easily as I'd hope it would, but I guess that would mean I wouldn't appreciate it nearly as much, either. So it seems to be a fair trade, I suppose.




For those of you whom already know how to play the guitar - rock on! You guys make it look wicked easy, and it's SO not!! Hopefully I'll be one of you some day. But until then, any tops on how to keep from killing your fingers? It's actually hurting as I type this blog...








*sniffle sniffle*